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 By Jeeves

 Music: Andrew Lloyd Webber

 Lyrics: Alan Ayckbourn

 Book: Alan Ayckbourn

 Premiere: Tuesday, April 22, 1975

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 The Code of the Woosters

 BERTIE

 I obey the Code of the Woosters. It's a simple philosophy.

 When perhaps a chap's in trouble. I respond with alacrity.

 And if my fellow men have problems

 Whatever they might be

 They call on me

 The sterling Wooster B.

 For despite

 This easy nature

 Come the evening

 When battle dawns

 To see a Wooster

 Grab the livestock by both the horns

 For when a Wooster's mask of pleasure

 Becomes a steely stare

 You'll know he's there

 He'll never turn a hair

 What would a chap do without it?

 How would he get through without it?

 How could he stay true wihtout the Code of the Woosters?

 If you're at sea, I shall be there, even put off tea to be there

 Woosters have swum oceans for the Code of

 Allegiance duly owed to the Wooster Code

 What a load

 If a girl

 Is in the doldrums

 Not a paddle

 To her name

 I'll be there

 Though frankly speaking

 Womanizing's not my game

 But if she's really in a lather

 Wild eyed and hat askew

 He'll see her through

 Old you know who...

 Whenever it calls, can't ignore it, even give up Ascot for it

 Woosters have died gladly for the code of

 For that rugged, heavy load called the Wooster Code

 What a load

 Take my card

 In case you need me, if you're jousting a losing cause

 Like the chap

 Who wins the double

 I can rattle

 The natural laws

 So if you're eaten up with anguish

 I'll snatch you from its jaws

 No second's pause

 From one sincerely yours...

 It's alright!

 He's on call both day and night

 Turning darkness into light

 Ubique illuminatus

 Wooster is ready to fight!

 Wooster is ready to fight!

 Travel Hopefully (Part One)

 BERTIE

 I've invariably found

 That feet kept on the ground

 Allow the grass to grow

 Check your mirrors front and rear

 Slip smoothly into gear

 Then hit the road and go

 Feel the pistons steady beat

 The camshaft 'neath your feet

 That big end start to fly...

 JEEVES

 May I advise a modicum of caution, sir...

 BERTIE

 He who hesitates is lost

 Burn bridges once they're crossed

 Don't stop to say goodbye

 JEEVES

 There is a blind corner approaching, sir...

 BERTIE

 My philosophy's to travel hopefully

 And making each day that I survive

 An opportunity to share the company

 That welcomes me when I arrive

 Hark the mistle-thrush's cry

 The hedge-rows rushing by

 The curlew on the wing

 JEEVES

 That is a crow, sir.

 BERTIE

 List! Some distant church's bells

 'Midst bracing country smells

 Those fields of golden - thing...

 JEEVES

 Corn, sir.

 BERTIE

 My philosophy's to travel hopefully

 And making each day that I survive

 An opportunity to share the company

 That welcomes me when I arrive

 Travel's broadened out my mind

 Until today you'll find...

 JEEVES

 The widest head I know...

 BERTIE

 Thank you, Jeeves. You did say wisest, didn't you?

 JEEVES

 Oh yes, sir.

 BERTIE

 Every traveller I meet

 I'll always stop to greet

 JEEVES

 Be careful how you go, sir...

 BERTIE

 My philosophy's to travel hopefully

 And making each day that I survive

 An opportunity to share the company

 That welcomes me when I arrive

 Travel hopefully with me

 And I will guarantee

 There'll be no pause for doubt

 Hit the nearest country track

 No time for looking back

 Look onwards and - look out!!!!

 Travel Hopefully (Part Two)

 BINGO

 Sounds sweet

 BERTIE

 Goes like a bird. Hold on to your hat.

 BINGO

 Hey, this is more like it...

 BOTH

 My philosophy's to travel hopefully

 And making each day that I survive

 An opportunity to share the company

 That welcomes me when I arrive

 BINGO

 Travel hopefully with me

 Let all your thoughts run free

 BERTIE

 We can't have come this far...

 BINGO

 What's that?

 BERTIE

 Nothing

 BINGO

 Till with any luck you'll feel

 Your inner voice reveal

 BERTIE

 Just where the hell we are

 BOTH

 Hopeful travellers me and you

 That Was Nearly Us

 HONORIA

 Did you see that couple there?

 BERTIE

 Can't say I did...

 HONORIA

 Standing by the tree?

 BERTIE

 Really? Was it raining?

 HONORIA

 That was nearly us back there

 BERTIE

 Don't quite follow...

 HONORIA

 Nearly you and me

 BERTIE

 Oh yes, I see. Brrmmm!

 HONORIA

 Bertie, you've been badly neglected

 You need a wife who'll correct it

 The secret with men, of course, is

 To treat them a bit like horses...

 Did you see those lovers there?

 BERTIE

 No, I think they were pheasants, actually...

 HONORIA

 Even you could see

 BERTIE

 Oh, lovers! I thought you said plovers, sorry.

 HONORIA

 Oh, so nearly us back there

 BERTIE

 Was it? Nearly ran over them, then...

 HONORIA

 Nearly you and me

 BERTIE

 Appear to be running out of cardboard...

 HONORIA

 Could it be we took some wrong turning?

 Is this a lesson worth learning?

 Can't you see that couple there

 Could well have been you and me?

 BERTIE

 Hump back bridge!

 HONORIA

 That was nearly us back there

 Wouldn't you concur?

 BERTIE

 Hairpin bend, hang on...

 HONORIA

 He was so like you back there

 I could have been her

 BERTIE

 No, I think they were both very much shorter.

 HONORIA

 Here you are, so vital, attractive-

 Would that your brain was as active

 You're nobody's intellectual

 You hot-blooded het'rosexual...

 BERTIE

 Oh, now, simmer down...

 HONORIA

 Was it merely lucky chance

 Brought us here today?

 Victims both of circumstance

 Meeting you this way

 BERTIE

 Brrrrmmmm! Brrrrrmmmm!!

 HONORIA

 It's as though our lives had been frozen

 Back on the paths we'd both chosen

 Giving us a fleeting glimpse

 Of all that was meant to be

 That was surely us back there

 It's as clear as day

 If we'd both kept faith back there

 Hadn't lost our way

 BERTIE

 Nearly there ... Here's the village

 HONORIA

 What if we defied dull convention?

 Stood up to shout our intention?

 BERTIE

 Steady!

 HONORIA

 If we'd followed our heart's volition

 and shed our last inhibition?

 BERTIE

 Here we are! At last!

 HONORIA

 That's out future life back there

 BERTIE

 Cheerio then!

 HONORIA

 Bertie, can't you see?

 BERTIE

 You'd better hop in there smartish...

 HONORIA

 That was meant for us back there

 BERTIE

 You don't want to get gangrene...

 HONORIA

 All we're meant to be

 Time we took the plain facts and faced them

 Turned in our tracks and retraced them

 Back to when that couple there

 So clearly were you and me...

 Love's Maze

 STIFFY

 Deep in love's maze

 There my heart strays

 Caught in a flurry of worry and doubt

 Down love's pathways

 There my heart plays

 Whispering secrets it's longing to shout

 All I need's a sympathetic friend

 To help me find a way to leave -

 Love's maze is a magical labyrinth

 Close paths hidden far from gaze

 Love's maze is for lovers in jeopardy

 Lost there in a rainbow haze

 Won't you save me?

 Please assist me

 Help me decipher its intricate ways?

 Love has touched me

 Love has kissed me

 Holding me prisoner deep in this maze

 BERTIE

 Well, you can't blame me. Cupid never pays

 You'll saunter round for day's inside love's -

 STIFFY

 Love's maze is a mystical wonderland

 Conceals what the heart conveys

 Love's maze is a puzzle in paradise

 Misleads all the eye surveys

 BERTIE

 I did warn you

 I have sworn to

 Steer a wide berth, for I know to my cost

 It's predicted

 Self-inflicted

 People in mazes do tend to get lost

 STIFFY

 All I need's a very special friend

 To rescue me from here inside

 STIFFY & MAIDS

 Love's maze is a crazy kaleidoscope

 All roads leading diff'rent ways

 Love's maze, like a swaying calliope

 One dance where the piper pays

 Love's maze is a hatter's mad party time

 One feast lasting nights and days

 Love's maze is a firework spectacular

 Bright skies as the bonfires blaze

 All praise as we dance in its corridors

 All part of these grand displays

 Behold every lover who's ever born

 All lost in their own love's maze

 STIFFY

 All I need's a little help from you...

 BERTIE

 You'll never drag me there inside love's -

 ALL

 Love's maze is a crazy kaleidoscope

 All roads leading diff'rent ways

 Love's maze, like a swaying calliope

 One dance where the piper pays

 Love's maze is a hatter's mad party time

 One feast lasting nights and days

 Love's maze is a firework spectacular

 Bright skies as the bonfires blaze

 Love's maze is a magical labyrinth

 Close paths hidden far from gaze

 Love's maze is for lovers in jeopardy

 Lost there in a rainbow haze

 All praise as we dance in its corridors

 All part of these grand displays

 Behold every lover who's ever born

 All lost in their own love's maze

 The Hallo Song

 BERTIE

 It's an English tradition

 We like to say hallo

 We hope by shaking hands that we'll recall your name

 We work on that basis, remembering faces

 But that's about all

 I know you're somebody something

 It's on the tip of my tongue

 You're either Edith Sitwell or the Bow Street Beak

 I'll know who you are, the moment you speak ...

 But meanwhile, just put in right there

 How do you do?

 BUDGE

 How do you do?

 GUSSIE

 How do you do?

 BERTIE

 Hallo again...

 BUDGE

 How goes it all?

 GUSSIE

 Good day to you

 BERTIE

 You keeping fit?

 BUDGE

 So great to meet you

 GUSSIE

 It's been an age

 BERTIE

 A tiny world

 BUDGE

 How do you -

 GUSSIE

 How do you -

 BERTIE

 How do you -

 BUDGE

 How do you -

 ALL

 How do you do?

 BUDGE

 How's life with you?

 GUSSIE

 Good evening all

 BERTIE

 You're looking well

 BUDGE

 Well, hi there, stranger

 GUSSIE

 Surprise, surprise

 BERTIE

 What could be nicer, meeting like this?

 I confess I've forgotten

 Who on earth you can be

 It could be you're Nijinsky or the man next door-

 BUDGE

 How do you -

 GUSSIE

 How do you -

 BERTIE

 How do you -

 BUDGE

 How do you -

 ALL

 How do you do?

 GUSSIE

 You're either Pablo Picasso

 BUDGE

 Or maybe Harpo Marx

 BERTIE

 You might be Sarah Bernhardt - no, you're Wittgenstein

 GUSSIE

 Whoever I am though, the pleasure's all mine

 BUDGE

 Let's take it and shake it right there

 BERTIE

 Well, fancy this

 GUSSIE

 It's surely not?

 BUDGE

 I can't believe

 BERTIE

 Good Lord alive!

 GUSSIE

 How long's it been?

 BUDGE

 You've hardly changed

 BERTIE

 You've lost some weight

 GUSSIE

 I can't believe it!

 BUDGE

 It's been a while

 BERTIE

 You're just the same

 BUDGE

 How do you -

 GUSSIE

 How do you -

 BERTIE

 How do you -

 BUDGE

 How do you -

 ALL

 How do you do?

 GUSSIE

 What brings you here?

 BERTIE

 How's life back home?

 BUDGE

 How's business been?

 GUSSIE

 And how's your father?

 BERTIE

 My sainted aunt!

 What could be better, meeting like this?

 Though I haven't an inkling

 Not a clue who you are

 You could be Amy Johnson

 BUDGE

 No, I'm Al Capone. How do you -

 GUSSIE

 How do you -

 BERTIE

 How do you -

 BUDGE

 How do you -

 ALL

 How do you do?

 BUDGE

 Aren't you Marlene Dietrich?

 GUSSIE

 I think I'm Bernard Shaw

 BERTIE

 It really doesn't matter who on earth you are

 The truth of it all is our friendship's been far

 Too long now to bother with names

 It's just another episode

 In the Wooster moral code

 Let's extend the hand of greeting

 ALL

 Hallo there, whoever you are

 How do you do

 By Jeeves

 BERTIE

 It is patently clear

 Any awkwardness here

 Can be cleared up in less than a trice

 Our identity switch

 Who is who, which is which

 We're in need of some solid advice

 There's a painfully simple solution

 It's as plain as the nose on your face

 BINGO

 By gad!

 GUSSIE

 By gosh!

 BINGO

 By heck!

 GUSSIE

 By gum!

 BINGO

 By rabbit's foot!

 GUSSIE

 By kingdom come!

 BERTIE

 By all my sainted aunt believes!

 BINGO

 By George!

 GUSSIE

 By Jove!

 ALL

 By Jeeves!

 When we're faced with the grind

 Of exerting the mind

 We are filled with a deep sense of dread

 BERTIE

 "How on earth," I hear cries

 "Does one give exercise

 To a thing that's in bed in your head?"

 BINGO

 What we need is a free range consultant

 GUSSIE

 Where on earth do you find one of those?

 BERTIE

 By hook! By crook!

 BINGO

 By way! By pass!

 GUSSIE

 By sea! By air!

 BERTIE

 By road!

 BINGO

 By grass!

 GUSSIE

 By seven dwarves!

 BERTIE

 By forty thieves!

 ALL

 By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

 BERTIE

 By shuttlecock!

 GUSSIE

 By croquet hoop!

 BINGO

 By Panama!

 BERTIE

 By Windsor soup!

 GUSSIE

 By all those cards tucked up his sleeves!

 ALL

 By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

 Our collective I.Q.

 Of around 42

 Cannot cope, to be perfectly frank

 All true leaders of men

 Delegate now and then

 Try to keep their minds totally blank

 To appreciate loftier matters

 BINGO

 Things that mostly go over my head

 BERTIE

 By derby day!

 GUSSIE

 By nursery tea!

 BINGO

 By moose!

 BERTIE

 By spoons!

 GUSSIE

 By half past three!

 BINGO

 By every tender breast that heaves!

 ALL

 By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

 BERTIE

 By marmalade!

 GUSSIE

 By bowler hat!

 BINGO

 By toothpaste tube!

 BERTIE

 By Burmese cat!

 GUSSIE

 By baby newts!

 BINGO

 By autumn leaves!

 ALL

 By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

 Behold how Jeeves with sleight of hand

 Conceives a scheme so carefully planned

 Even we can understand

 If he takes it terribly slow - ly

 BERTIE

 By Basingstoke!

 BINGO

 By cardboard box!

 GUSSIE

 By Budge's knees!

 BERTIE

 By Bassett's socks!

 BINGO

 By each that conjuror deceives!

 ALL

 By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

 BERTIE

 By jumping jack!

 GUSSIE

 By easy chair!

 BINGO

 By Bain Marie!

 BERTIE

 By Camembert!

 GUSSIE

 By every fruit bat in the eaves!

 ALL

 By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

 BINGO

 By walking boot!

 GUSSIE

 By thermal drawers!

 BERTIE

 By canapes!

 BINGO

 By Santa Claus!

 GUSSIE

 By all his mighty brain achieves!

 BERTIE

 By every spell the master weaves!

 ALL

 By heck! By George! By Jove! By Jeeves!

 By Jeeves! By Jeeves! By Jeeves!

 By Jeeves!

 When Love Arrives

 BERTIE

 But the point of all this, let's face it, is that it's not what Gussie says, surely.

 It's what he feels. I mean, love's a funny thing. It doesn't always look quite the same.

 It varies from person to person, if you follow. I mean, with Budge it's a brisk covering

 in jam,

 but with Gussie, it's more subtle - more oblique - like - steamed fish - it creeps up on

 you...

 When love arrives, it's hard to tell

 He doesn't ring the front door bell

 He doesn't wait politely in the hall

 Or leave his card

 He doesn't wait to wipe his feet

 In fact he's not at all discreet

 He doesn't phone to warn you he will call and means to stay

 He may not come when you're expecting him to visit -

 But if he does, make sure he finds you home

 Surrender now, for what's the use?

 And wave that friendly flag of truce

 Just rush right out to greet him

 Don't hesitate at all, dear

 You'll bless the day that love rings your bell

 MADELINE

 Ding! Ding!

 BERTIE

 Hallo?

 MADELINE

 Who's there?

 BERTIE

 It's love

 MADELINE

 Come in

 BERTIE

 Kiss, kiss

 MADELINE

 Hee-hee!

 BERTIE

 So close your eyes and lend an ear

 For I suspect he's somewhere near

 And that it's you that he has come to find

 MADELINE

 Oh Bertie, dear...

 BERTIE

 So let him hold you tight and snug -

 MADELINE

 Like kittens cuddled in a rug?

 BERTIE

 Well, that's the sort of thing I had in mind...

 MADELINE

 Oh look, my dear!

 Each dandelion clock is very softly chiming

 To tell the flowers it's time to go to bed

 BERTIE

 What's that she said?

 MADELINE

 I know this night can't be in vain

 The stars shine in God's daisy chain

 And even Mr. Moon's begun to snore...

 BERTIE

 Good grief, no more...

 Look, softly now, just close your eyes -

 MADELINE

 And will I get a big surprise?

 BERTIE

 What else d'you think I'm doing all this for

 You lovely thing, you?

 Just wait right there till love himself arrives

 Wait there...stay there...right there...don't move...stay put...

 What have you got to say, Jeeves?

 BERTIE

 What have you got to say, Jeeves?

 What have you got to say?

 JEEVES

 Sir -

 BERTIE

 Your job's to protect me and to cushion me from shocks

 Not to let the poor young master end up crouching in a box

 Leave him posing as a coatstand there, the minute someone knocks

 No, somebody's got to pay, Jeeves

 Somebody's got to pay

 JEEVES

 If you would allow me, sir -

 BERTIE

 Threatened with a lynch mob and I lose my oldest friends

 I'm embroiled with random females bent on dire romantic ends

 Yours is frankly not a judgement, Jeeves, on which a chap depends

 It's bordering on risque, Jeeves

 Utterly declasse...

 JEEVES

 If I might -

 BERTIE

 Your job's to inspire me with encouragement and praise

 Not abandon me with Stiffy in some frightful leafy maze

 Not to make me change my name three times in just as many days

 Here I am in an extreme position

 General Custer out of ammunition

 Didn't get here by my own volition

 As Tennyson once thundered

 Someone here has badly blundered

 JEEVES

 Sir -

 BERTIE

 It's chaos and disarray, Jeeves

 Misery and dismay

 JEEVES

 Perhaps if i could interr -

 BERTIE

 Calling this a shambles is to understate the case

 Look at all these banjo lovers, not a dry eye in the place

 I shall never have the nerve again to look them in the face

 So what have you got to say, Jeeves?

 What have you got to say?

 JEEVES

 I fear I must confess it, sir

 Despite my best endeavours to

 Ensure a fluid narrative

 Things haven't gone to plan

 Evens were overtaken, sir

 By unseen technicalities

 I really can assure you, though

 I've done the best I can

 There comes the odd occasion, sir

 When facing up to destiny

 We'd do as well as well remembering

 A man is but a man

 You have my firm assurances

 That come the grand denouement, sir

 Events will all resolve themselves

 In spite of come what may

 I only can apologize

 For any inconvenience

 Injurious to your dignity

 That happens on the way

 I simply wish to emphasize

 I have your interests uppermost

 And that, sir, in conclusion, sir

 Is all I have to say!

 Half a Moment

 HAROLD

 Time, they say, is relative

 Infinite as space

 This must be eternity

 Neither time nor place...

 Half a moment

 We are together

 I shall want

 Half a moment

 I shall treasure

 Keep it locked away

 For some future rainy day

 Should you leave me

 With just this moment

 In my mind, I will capture it anew

 Like some picture

 Taken in my childhood

 Half a moment

 Spent with you

 STIFFY

 Time looks kindly

 On fleeting lovers

 They can turn

 The briefest hour into a day

 Turn a moment

 To a lifetime

 Making it to last

 Blending future with the past...

 Ev'ry moment

 We spend together

 I don't care

 What they say or try to do

 Can't erase it

 All that's gone between us

 Shared with you

 BOTH

 Half a moment

 We are together

 I shall want

 No one else and nothing new

 Half a moment

 I shall treasure

 Keep it locked away

 For some future rainy day

 We're together

 What else can matter?

 Even though half a moment

 Is too few

 I shall save it

 Till I have another

 Making one whole moment

 Filled with you

 It's a Pig!

 HONORIA

 Who are you? Someone quick! There's a man broken in!

 In a pig mask, broken in my bedroom!

 Stand well clear! He's all mine!

 I can deal with this swine

 With this chauvinist pig in my bedroom!

 When I'm through, I will bet

 You will live to regret

 that you picked on me, you and I ever met

 I'm teaching you a lesson that you never will forget

 You're a pig! What a pig! What a pig!

 MADELINE

 Oh dear, help! It's a pig! Daddy, help it's a pig!

 There's a beastly piggy in my bedroom

 HONORIA

 Cornered! He's cornered!

 MADELINE

 Is it real or a dream?

 Get away, or I'll scream!

 Who on earth let this pig in my bedroom?

 HONORIA

 Lend a hand! Bar the door!

 And we've trapped him for sure

 MADELINE

 I shall die if the thing makes a mess on my floor...

 HONORIA

 Speaking as a woman who has hunted wild boar

 What's a pig, more or less? What's a pig?

 Now we've got him!

 BERTIE

 Look, it's Bertie...

 HONORIA

 Nice and easy...

 MADELINE

 It's so dirty!

 BERTIE

 Listen, Maddy...

 MADELINE

 Don't come near me!

 HONORIA

 Don't dare touch her, do you hear me!

 BERTIE

 Oh, this damn thing's stuck completely!

 Exit Wooster, swift and sweetly!

 HONORIA/MADELINE

 Follow that pig!

 BASSETT

 Bless my soul! Who are you? What on earth's going on?

 There's a circus artist in my bedroom

 MADELINE

 Stop him!

 HONORIA

 We've got him!

 BASSETT

 Can't believe both my eyes

 There's a chap in disguise

 There's a cat burgling pig in my bedroom

 Careful, girls, all stand back

 He may try to attack...

 It's a well known fact that they hunt as a pack

 Wait while I distract him, try to put him off the track

 Watch that pig!

 HONORIA

 Watch the pig!

 MADELINE

 Watch the pig!

 BERTIE

 Listen, people...

 BASSETT

 Don't you try it!

 MADELINE

 Tried to kiss me

 BERTIE

 I deny it!

 BASSETT

 Oh, you swine you!

 HONORIA

 Caught him looting!

 BASSETT

 Raise your hands or I'll start shooting!

 BERTIE

 With a badly bruised libido

 Exit Wooster tres rapido

 HONORIA, MADELINE, BASSETT

 Follow that pig!

 Hunt the pig! Hunt the pig! Hunt the two-legged pig!

 There's a pig loose somewhere in the house here

 GUSSIE/HONORIA/MADELINE

 Find him!

 BASSETT/GUSSIE

 And catch him!

 MADELINE/HONORIA

 Everybody look out

 For the glimpse of a snout

 BASSETT/GUSSIE

 For the click of his trotters on the stairway

 MADELINE

 There he is!

 HONORIA

 False alarm!

 BASSETT

 We must try to keep calm

 MADELINE

 I'm afraid! I'm afraid!

 GUSSIE

 Then take hold of my arm

 BASSETT

 I'll let him have both barrels, it'll work just like a charm

 On the pig

 BERTIE

 Steady on!

 ALL

 There's the pig!

 There's the pig! There's the pig! There's the housebreaker pig!

 There's the pig with criminal intentions

 Once he's caught there is talk

 We'll reduce him to pork

 In a way that's too terrible to mention

 Can't escape, now he's caught

 He can grunt he can snort

 It's a great new game, chasing porkers for sport

 Now we've got him cornered there's a lesson to be taught

 To the pig, to the pig, to the pig

 Banjo Boy

 BERTIE & COMPANY

 Who's the man you've all been sitting there anticipating?

 Whos' the man with his instrument ready, willing and waiting?

 Who's the man for whom your breath has been eagerly baiting?

 If I hadn't already confessed it

 You'd no doubt already have guessed it

 Banjo boy, banjo boy, play a number for me

 Won't you play that melody?

 When you start your plain' - Mama starts a-swayin'

 She's right there with 'em - stompin' that rhythym

 Banjo boy, banjo boy, play the razzamatazz

 You're the sunny southland's king

 You set Dixie hummin' it - when you started strummin' it

 See those fingers goin'

 When you start to syncopate

 Songbirds seem to orchestrate

 The Swanee stops it's flowin'

 Just hear him play

 Who can plunk your heartstrings full of joy

 That's banjo boy

 COMPANY

 Hear him go

 Don't you know

 Love him so

 Let him swing

 And do his thing

 He's the king

 Ring-a-ding

 BERTIE & COMPANY

 Banjo boy, banjo boy, you're the musical sun

 In those southern sunny skies

 Feet will start their fidgets - see those magic digits

 Hands are a clappin' - fingers a snappin'

 Banjo boy, banjo boy, play that favourite tune

 That the old folks love to sing

 Can't you hear the people cry

 Wann see those fingers fly

 COMPANY

 Listen to him playin'

 Can't you hear those children roar

 Dixie's shoutin' out for more

 Hear the steamboats blowin'

 Eight to the bar

 Who's that cotton pickin' hunk of joy?

 That golden kid that fashion can't destroy?

 Whose name they shout from Maine to Illinois?

 That's banjo boy!

 Banjo boy!

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