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Cabaret

Music: John Kander

Lyrics: Fred Ebb

Book: Joe Masteroff

Premiere: Sunday, November 20, 1966

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ACT ONE

1.WILLKOMMEN

2.SO WHAT?

3.DON'T TELL MAMA

4.TELEPHONE SONG

5.PERFECTLY MARVELOUS

6.TWO LADIES

7.IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE

8.TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME

ACT TWO

9.ENTR'ACTE

10.WHY SHOULD I WAKE UP?

11.THE MONEY SONG

12.MARRIED

13.MEESKITE

14.IF YOU COULD SEE HER

15.WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

16.CABARET

17.FINALE

1.WILLKOMMEN

M.C.:

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Fremder, etranger, stranger

Glücklich zu sehen,

Je suis enchanté,

Happy to see you,

Bleibe, reste, stay.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Im Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret!

Meine Damen und Herren-

Mes dames et Messieurs-

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Guten Abend! Bon Soir! Good Evening!

Wie geht's? Comment sa va?

Do you feel good?

Ich bin eur confrencier!

Je suis votre comp?re,

I am you host!

Und sage.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Leave your troubles outside.

So life is disappointing, forget it!

In here life is beautiful.

The girls are beautiful.

Even the orchestra is beautiful.

[The Band plays]

And now presenting the cabaret girls!

Each and everyone a virgin--

You don't believe me,

Well, do not take my word for it,

Go ahead, ask her!

Ha ha ha!

Outside it is Winter, but in here it is so hot!

Ev'ry night we have the battle to keep the girls from taking off

all their clothing, so don't go away, who knows, tonight we may

lose the battle!

GIRLS:

Und sage.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Im Cabaret,

Au Cabaret,

To Cabaret!

M.C.:

We are her to serve you!

COMPANY:

Bleibe, reste, stay.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Im Cabaret,

Au Cabaret...Wir sorgen!

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,

Glücklich zu sehen, M.C.:

Je suis enchanté, Enchanté, Madame!

Happy to see you, Happy to see you

Bleibe, reste, stay.

Und sage.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,

Glücklich zu sehen,

Je suis enchanté,

Happy to see you,

Bleibe, reste, stay.

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Im Cabaret,

Au Cabaret,

To Cabaret!

2.SO WHAT?

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

You say fifty marks, I say one hundred marks.

A difference of fifty Marks

Why should that stand in our way?

As long as the room's to let

The fifty that I will get

Is fifty more than I had yesterday, aha!

When you're as old as I-

Is anyone old as I?

What difference does it make?

An offer comes, you take!

For the sun will rise and the moon will set,

And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,

It'll all go on if we're here or not,

So, who cares, so what?

So, who cares, so what?

When I was a girl my summers were spent by the sea, so what?

And I had a maid doing all the house work, not me, so what?

Now I scrub up the floors, and I wash down the walls,

And I empty that chamber pot.

If it ended that way, then it ended that way,

And I shrug and I say, so what?

For the sun will rise and the moon will set

And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,

It'll all go on if we're here or not,

So, who cares, so what?

So, who cares, so what?

When I had a man, my figure was stampede and fat, so what?

Through all of our years we were so disappointed than that, so what?

Now I have what he missed then my figure is trim,

But he lies in a churchyard lot.

If it wasn't to be that he ever would see

The abundance of me, so what?

For the sun will rise and the moon will set

And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,

It'll all go on if we're here or not,

So, who cares, so what?

So, who cares, so what?

So, once I was rich,

And now all my fortune is gone, so what?

And love disappeared,

And only the memory lives on, so what?

If I've lived through all that,

And I've lived through all that,

Fifty Marks doesn't mean a lot!

If I liked that you're here,

And I like that you're here

Happy New Year, my dear, so what!

For the sun will rise and the moon will set

And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,

It'll all go on if we're here or not,

So, who cares, so what?

So, who cares, so what?

It all goes on,

So, who cares?

Who cares?

So what?

3.DON'T TELL MAMA

M.C.:

Meine Damen und Herren, Madames et Messieurs,

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Und now the Kit Kat Club is proud to present the toast of Mayfair,

FrÄulein Sally Bowles!

SALLY BOWLES:

Mama

Thinks I'm living in a convent

A secluded little convent

In the Southern part of France

Mama

Doesn't even have an inkling

That I'm working in a nightclub

In a pair of lacy pants

So, please, sir,

If you run into my mama

Don't reveal my indiscretion

Give a working girl a chance

Hush up, don't tell mama

Shush up, don't tell mama

Don't tell mama whatever you do.

If you had a secret you bet

I could keep it

I would never tell on you!

I'm breakin' ev'ry promise that I gave her

So, won't you kindly do a girl a great big favor

And please, my sweet potato,

Keep this from my mater,

Thou my dance is not against the law

You could tell my papa, that's alright!

'Cause he comes in here ev'ry night

But don't tell mama what you saw!

GIRLS:

Mama

Since I wanted go to Europe

With a couple of my school chumps

And a lady chaperon

Mama

Doesn't even have an inkling

That I left the morning after

And I'm touring on my own

So, please, sir,

If you run into my mama

Don't reveal my indiscretion

SALLY BOWLES:

Just leave well enough alone

SALLY and GIRLS:

Hush up, don't tell mama

Shush up, don't tell mama

Don't tell mama whatever you do.

If you had a secret you bet

I could keep it

I would never tell on you!

You wouldn't want to get me in a pickle

And have a girl ain't cut me off without a nickel

So let's cross one another

Keep this from my mother

Thou I'm still as pure as mama's soul

You can tell my uncle here and now

'Cause he's my agent anyhow

But don't tell mama what you know!

You can tell my grandma, suits me fine

Just guess s'mday she join the line

But don't tell mama what you know!

You can tell my brother, that ain't grim

So if he squeals on me

I'll squeal on him

But don't tell mama, bitte

Don't tell mama, please sir

Don't tell mama what you know!

If you see my mammy mums the word

4.TELEPHONE SONG

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Sittin' all alone like that

You happen to catch my eye

Would you like to buy a girl a drink?

-Sorry!

-Oh, goodbye!

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Table four is calling table nine, how are you, mister?

-I get fine!

-Sittin' all alone like that

You happen to catch my eye

Would you like to buy a girl a dance?

-Yeah! Wait up!

-Goodbye!

-Hello! -Hello! -Hello! -Hello!

-Table seven calling number three,

How are you, handsome?

-You mean me?

-We can see you, can you see us?

Would you like to have a dance?

The rhythm to the music's hot,

Maybe if we could talk it over here.

-Hot, close, why not?

-Alone, alone,

You shouldn't sit alone like that

Alone, alone,

Alone in a night like this

-Alone, alone,

You shouldn't sit alone like that

Alone, alone,

Alone in a night like this

-Yeah, look!

-Hello! -Hello! -Hello! -Hello! Etc.

-Table seven is calling number nine, how are you?...

-Table eight is calling number two, how are you?...

-Table five is calling number three, how are you?...

-Sittin' all alone like that

You happen to catch my eye

Would you like to buy a girl a drink?

Would you like to buy a man a drink?

Would you like to buy a boy a drink?

Will you?

Why not?

Goodbye!

5.PERFECTLY MARVELOUS

SALLY BOWLES:

If anyone should ask you about me one day, Cliff, you have two alternatives

You can either say, yes it's true, we're living in delicious sin, or you can

Simply tell them the truth and say,

I met this perfectly marvelous girl,

In this perfectly wonderful place,

As I lifted the glass to the start of this marvelous year

Before you knew would she call on the phone inviting

Next moment I was no longer alone, but set reciting

Some perfectly beautiful buzz

In my charming American style

How I dazzled the senses with truly no less than a guile

Now I've this perfectly marvelous girl

In my perfectly beautiful room

And we're living together and having a marvelous time...

CLIFF:

Oh, Sally, I'm afraid it wouldn't work.

You're much too distracting.

SALLY:

Distracting? No, inspiring!

She tells me perfectly marvelous tales

Of her prettily scandalous life

Which I'll probably use

As a chapter or two in my book

and since my stay in Berlin was to force creation

What luck to fall on a fabulous source of stimulation

That perfectly marvelous tool

Is a perfect dream to be

Just as still as a mouse fall

I'm giving my novel a word

Yes, I've the highly agreeable life

In my perfectly beautiful room

With my nearly invisible

Perfectly marvelous girl.

CLIFF:

I met this truly remarkable girl

In this really incredible town

And she still fully managed to

Talk away into my room

SALLY:

Oh, Cliff!

CLIFF:

I have a terrible feeling I said a dumb thing

Besides I've only got one narrow bed...

SALLY:

We'll think of something!

CLIFF:

And now this wild unpredictable girl

SALLY:

And this perfectly beautiful man

BOTH:

We'll be living together

And having a marvelous time!

6.TWO LADIES

M.C. and GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee,

Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee,

Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee.

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

Two ladies.

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

Two ladies.

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

And I'm the only man, ja!

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

I like it.

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

They like it.

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

This two for one!

M.C. and GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

GIRLS:

Two ladies.

M.C.:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

GIRLS:

Two ladies.

M.C.:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

GIRLS:

And he's the only man,

M.C.:

ja!

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

GIRLS:

He likes it.

M.C.:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

GIRLS:

We like it.

M.C.:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

GIRLS:

This two for one!

GIRL 1:

I do the cooking

GIRL 2:

And I make the bed

M.C.:

I go out daily to earn our daily bread.

But we've one thing in common

GIRL 1:

He,

M.C.:

She

GIRL 2:

And me,

GIRL 1:

The key,

GIRL 2:

The key,

M.C.:

The key.

Eins,

GIRL 2:

Zwei,

GIRL 1:

Drei,

ALL:

Los!

GIRLS:

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!

M.C.:

We switch partners daily

To play as he please,

GIRL 1:

Twosie beats onsie,

M.C.:

But nothing beats threes.

I sleep in the middle,

GIRL 2:

I'm left,

GIRL 1:

And I'm right.

M.C.:

But there's room on the bottom

If you drop in some night!

M.C. and GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

Two ladies.

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

Two ladies.

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

And he's the only man, ja!

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

I like it.

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

They like it.

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee dee dee dee.

M.C.:

This two for one!

GIRLS:

Bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee bee-dle-dee dee!

7.IT COULDN'T PLEASE ME MORE

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

If you bought me diamonds

If you bought me pearls

If you bought me roses

Like some other gents

Might bring to other girls

It couldn't please me more

Than the gift I see

A pineapple for me

HERR SCHULTZ:

If in your emotion you began to sway

When to get some in

Or drab a chin to keep from thinking dirt away

It couldn't please me more

Than to see you claim

To the pineapple blame

BOTH:

Ah ah ah ah ah ah

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow

BOTH:

Ah ah ah ah ah ah

HERR SCHULTZ:

It's from California

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Even so!

How am I to thank you?

HERR SCHULTZ:

Kindly let it pass.

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Would you like a slice?

HERR SCHULTZ:

That might be nice,

But frankly it would give me gas.

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Then we should leave it here,

Not to eat, but see

BOTH:

A pineapple--

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

For me.

HERR SCHULTZ:

From me.

BOTH:

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

But you must not bring me any more pineapples. It's through, you hear?

It's not proper. It's a gift the young man must present to his lady love

It makes me blush--

HERR SCHULTZ:

But no one, no one in all Berlin is more deserving. If I could I would fill

An entire room with pineapples--

BOTH:

A pineapple-

HERR SCHULTZ:

For you--

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

From you-

BOTH:

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Ah ah-

By now I think I must lie down for a few minutes, my head is spinning.

HERR SCHULTZ:

So, good evening FrÄulein!

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Good evening, Herr Schultz.

I'm overwhelmed!

8.TOMORROW BELONGS TO ME

WAITERS

The sun on the meadow is summery warm

The stag in the forest runs free

But gathered together to greet the storm

Tomorrow belongs to me

The branch on the linden is leafy and green

The Rhine gives its gold to the sea (Gold to the sea)

But somewhere a glory awaits unseen

Tomorrow belongs to me

Now Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign

Your children have waited to see

The morning will come

When the world is mine

Tomorrow belongs to me

Tomorrow belongs to me

Tomorrow belongs to me

Tomorrow belongs to me

[ADDITIONAL VERSE]

The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes

The blossom embraces the bee

But soon says the whisper, arise, arise

Tomorrow belongs to me

Tomorrow belongs to me

ACT TWO

9.ENTR'ACTE

KIT KAT BAND

[Instrumental]

10.WHY SHOULD I WAKE UP?

CLIFF:

Why should I wake up?

This dream is going so well.

When you're enchanted,

Why break the spell?

Drifting in this youthful state,

Morning can wait,

Let it come late.

Why should I wake up?

Why waste a drop of the wine?

Don't I adore you

And aren't you mine?

Maybe I'll someday be lonely again,

But why should I wake up?

Why should I wake up till then?

Drifting in this youthful state,

Morning can wait,

Let it come late.

Why should I wake up?

Why waste a drop of the wine?

Don't I adore you

And aren't you mine?

Maybe I'll someday be lonely again,

But why should I wake up?

Why should I wake up till then?

11.THE MONEY SONG

M.C. AND CABARET GIRLS:

NOT AVAILABLE!

12.MARRIED

HERR SCHULTZ:

How the world can change,

It can change like that.

Due to one little word: "Married."

See a palace rise from a two room flat,

Due to one little word: "Married."

And the world despair that was often there,

Suddenly ceases to be.

For you wake one day, look around and say:

"Somebody wonderful married me."

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

How the world can change,

It can change like that.

Due to one little word:

BOTH:

"Married."

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

See a palace rise from a two room flat,

Due to one little word:

BOTH

"Married."

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

And the world despair that was often there,

Suddenly ceases to be.

BOTH:

For you wake one day, look around and say:

HERR SCHULTZ:

"Somebody wonderful--

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

"Somebody wonderful

BOTH:

Married me."

13.MEESKITE

These lyrics were kindly provided by Claudio Erlichman

HERR SCHULTZ:

[spoken]

Now the only word you have to know to understand this

little song is the Yiddish word "meeskite".

Meeskite means: ugly, funny looking...

Meeskite means:

[singing]

Meeskite, meeskite

Once upon a time there was a

Meeskite, meeskite

Looking in the mirror

He would say

What an awful shock,

I've got a face

That could stop a clock.

Meeskite, meeskite

Such a pity on him

He is a

Meeskite, meeskite

God up in his Heaven left him out on a shaky limb

He put a meeskite on him!

[spoken]

Listen, he grew up. Even meeskites grow up.

[singing]

And soon in the Heder (means Hebrew School)

He sat beside this little girl

And when he asked her, her name

She replied: "I'm Pearl!"

He ran to the Zeiddah (that's grandfather)

And said in the scratchy voice of his

You told me I was the homeliest

Well, gramps, you're wrong, Pearl is!

Meeskite, meeskite

No one ever saw a bigger

Meeskite, meeskite

Ev'rywhere a flaw

And maybe that is the reason why

I'm going to love her, until I die!

Meeskite, meeskite

Oh, it is a pleasure, she's a

Meeskite, meeskite

She's the one I'll treasure

For I thought there could never be

A bigger meeskite, than me!

[spoken]

Listen to what happened:

[singing]

And so they were married

And in a year she turned and smiled:

"I'm afraid, I am going to have a child".

Nine months she carried

Worrying how's that child would look

And all the cousins, well, worried too,

But what a turn fate took:

Gorgeous, gorgeous

They produced a baby that was

Gorgeous, gorgeous

Crowding 'round the cradle

All relatives awed and wooed

He ought to pose for a baby-food.

Gorgeous, gorgeous

Would I tell a lie?

He's simply

Gorgeous, gorgeous

Who'd have ever thought

That we will see such a flawless gem,

Out of two meeskites like them?

[spoken]

Wait! Wait! This story has a moral. All my stories have morals:

[singing]

Moral, moral

Yes indeed the story has a

Moral, moral

"Thou you not a beauty

It is nevertheless quite true

There may be beautiful things in you".

Meeskite, meeskite

Listen to a fable of the

Meeskite, meeskite

Anyone responsible for loveliness large or small

Is not a meeskite at all!

14.IF YOU COULD SEE HER

M.C.:

I know what you're thinking

You wonder why I chose her

Out of all the ladies in the world

That's just a first impression

What good's a first impression

If you knew her like I do,

It would change your point of view-

If you could see her

If you could see her thru my eyes,

You wouldn't wonder at all.

If you could see her thru my eyes,

I guarantee you would fall

(Like I did)

When we're in public together,

I hear society moan,

But if they could see her thru my eyes,

Maybe they'd leave us alone.

How can I speak of her virtues?

I don't know where to begin.

She's clever, she's smart, she reads music,

She doesn't smoke or drink gin.

(Like I do)

Yet when we're walking together,

They sneer if I'm holding her hand,

But if they could see her thru my eyes,

Maybe they'd all understand...

[Spoken]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you,

Is there a crime to fall in love?

Can one ever choose where our heats lead us?

[Sung]

Oh, I understand your objection,

I grant my problem's not small;

But if you could see her thru my eyes,

She isn't a meeskite at all!

15.WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

These lyrics were kindly provided by Claudio Erlichman

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

With the time rushing by,

What would you do?

With the clock running down,

What would you do?

The young always have the cure:

Being brave, being sure and free.

But imagine if you were me.

Alone like me

And this is the only world I know

Some rooms to let,

To some other lifetime, even so.

I'll take your advice,

What would you do?

Would you pay the price,

What would you do?

Suppose simply keeping still,

Means you managed until the end.

What would you do,

My brave, young friend?

Grown old like me,

With neither there'll be no wish to run.

Grown tired like me,

For her is forbid when day is done

Grown wise like me,

Who isn't in war with anyone?

Not anyone!

With the storm in the wind,

What would you do?

Suppose you are unafraid and wise,

Being told what the choice must be.

Go on, tell me...

I will listen...

What would you do?...

If you were me!

16.CABARET

M.C.:

Meine Damen und Herren, Madames et Messieurs,

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Und now, once again, FrÄulein Sally Bowls!

SALLY BOWLES:

What good is sittin' alone in your room

Come hear the music play,

Life is a cabaret old chum

Come to the cabaret.

Put down that knittin', the book and the broom

Time for a holiday,

Life is a cabaret old chum

Come to the cabaret.

Come taste the wine, come hear that band

Come blow your horn, start celebratin'

Right this way, your table's waitin'

No use permittin' a prophet of doom

Wipe every smile away, yes

Life is a cabaret old chum

Come to the cabaret!

I used to have a girl friend known as Elsie

With whom I shared four sordid rooms in Chelsea

She wasn't what you'd call a blushing flower

As a matter of fact she rented by the hour

The day she died the neighbors came to sneaker

Well, that's what comes of too much pills and licqueur

But when I saw her laid down like a queen

She was the happiest corpse I'd ever seen

I think of Elsie to this very day,

I remember how she turned to me and said:

What good is sittin' alone in your room

Come hear the music play,

Life is a cabaret old chum

Come to the cabaret

Put down that knittin', the book and the broom

Time for a holiday,

Life is a cabaret, old chum

So come to the cabaret.

And as for me,

As for me,

I made my up back in Chelsea

When I go, I'm going like Elsie,

Start by admitting go cradle to tumb

Isn't that a longer stay

What good is sittin' alone in your room

Come hear the music play, yes

Life is a cabaret old chum

It's only a cabaret old chum

And I love a cabaret!

Yes, life is a cabaret old chum

Only a cabaret old chum

So come to the cabaret

17.FINALE

COMPANY:

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,

Glücklich zu sehen,

Je suis enchanté,

Happy to see you,

Bleibe, reste, stay.

M.C.:

Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!

Im Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret!

Meine Damen und Herren-

Mes dames et Messieurs-

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Where are your troubles now?

Forgotten, I told you so!

We have no troubles here

Here life is beautiful.

The girls are beautiful.

Even the orchestra is beautiful.

[The Band plays]

HERR SCHULTZ:

Meeskite means-

Meeskite, Meeskite

Once upon a time there was a

Meeskite, Meeskite

Looking in the mirror

And he would say 'what an awful shock,

I've got a face that could stop a clock'

Meeskite, Meeskite

COMPANY:

Glücklich zu sehen,

Je suis enchanté,

Happy to see you--

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

For the sun will rise and the moon will set,

And you'll learn how to settle for what you get,

It'll all go on if we're here or not,

So, who cares--

So, who cares, so what?

COMPANY:

Fremder, Etranger, Stanger,

Glücklich zu sehen,

Je suis enchanté--

SALLY BOWLES:

I made my up back in Chelsea

When I go, I'm going like Elsie,

...Go cradle to tumb

Isn't that a longer stay

Life is a cabaret old chum

Life is a cabaret old chum

Life is a cabaret old chum

M.C.:

Aufwiedershen!

? bient?t!

Good night!

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