FALLING IN LOVE AT SEVENTY
____________________
3 Acts sentimental-comic
by Giancarlo Migliorini
I’ve written this play versus hypocrisies of sentimental and sex life of elderly.
Copyright © 2017
Contact:
Giancarlo Migliorini
Via A. Cianciullo 38-13
16133 Genova – Italy
giancarlo-migliorini@libero.it
Phone +393393164154
Cast of Characters
THOMAS (Maestro) THERESA ROSE MICHELLE LISETTE JOHN LOUISE DOCTOR JULIA MARY |
Old theatre actor 2nd carer 1st Thomas’ daughter 2nd Thomas’ daughter Caretaker Lisette’s husband Neighbour The doctor 1st carer Thomas’ defunct wife |
All the actors are middle-aged, but THOMAS and THERESA that are around 70. JULIA and MARY are 30/35.
3 M and 7 F – MARY may be doubled by the younger daughter,
DOCTOR may be doubled by JOHN. In this case it needs just 8 actors. A daughter may have a brother instead of a daughter.
Running time: 2 hours with 2 intermissions.
Intended audience: Middle aged.
Race: As you like.
Scene
One Set. The THOMAS’ living room.
Time
The present.
I-1-1
Act I
Scene 1
Setting:
The scene takes place in THOMAS’ living room, the house is comfortable and denotes good taste. Here and there on the walls, are old comedy posters. The apartment is placed in a residential area.
At Rise:
We see THOMAS’ daughters ROSE and MICHELLE walking nervously up and down the room. At a certain point, the DOCTOR enters from a side door with his bag in hand he, walks towards the table.
(Enter DOCTOR.)
ROSE
(Goes towards him.)
Well, DOCTOR?
DOCTOR
(Points to the chair.)
Do you mind?
MICHELLE
Of course.
(Moving the chair and letting him sit down.)
DOCTOR
(Searches for his prescription pad in his bag while talking.)
We just pulled him out by the skin of his teeth.
(He pulls out a white bra from his bag - has a moment of embarrassment - then talking to himself.)
Mrs. Charlotte...
(After a nostalgic sigh pulls out the prescription pad and starts to write.)
Can light a candle in church, even more than one. But he is a strong man and will recover soon, if he scrupulously follows this new American medicine. It's a bit of a pain because he has to have an injection every six hours, day and night. But it is miraculous. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of absolute rest and a light diet.
ROSE
When are you coming to see him again DOCTOR?
I-1(2)-2
DOCTOR
(Going to the exit.)
Very soon. That’s the advantage of having a DOCTOR who lives in the same block as you.
(Exit DOCTOR.)
MICHELLE
(At the door.)
Goodbye, DOCTOR and thank you for everything.
Scene 2
ROSE
He has been very lucky this time. But he must take the medicine and look after himself if he wants to get well. And above all he needs to get it into in his head that he’s not a young boy any more. He goes running in Italy Promenade! And look what happens…… he gets pneumonia.
MICHELLE
What's wrong with trying to keep yourself in shape?
ROSE
Nothing, except that he runs after anything in a skirt that moves.
MICHELLE
I know. But he still thinks he’s a teenager. He’s still just like he was when he was traveling with his theater company.
ROSE
Maybe …… but …He’s nearly seventy!
MICHELLE
Shhh ... Now don’t get so agitated about it, he might hear you.
ROSE
Let me see the prescription, "Six boxes of tonic Riposil, one injection every six hours, round the clock."
MICHELLE
(looks miserable.)
ROSE
And who’s going to give him the injections?
MICHELLE
But don’t you know how to do them?
I-2(3)-3
ROSE
But I’ve got a family to look after like you. We certainly didn’t need this!
MICHELLE
We’ll have to find a nurse.
ROSE
A nurse is not enough. We need someone who can stay here 24 hours a day. An injection every six hours, “round the clock" do you understand? And then, who’s going to do the cooking? And Cleaning? Who’s going to keep the house in order?
MICHELLE
Well after all he is our father. We should have a little more consideration for him.
ROSE
Exactly, well said: "Our father."What you do for him? Nothing!
MICHELLE
But with all my commitments, how can I look after him? Plus the fact that I don’t even know how to give an injection.
Scene 3
THOMAS
(Enters. wearing a track suit, a bit shakey on his legs.)
I hope you two don’t think you’re going to practice on my ass!
(MICHELLE and ROSE they rush towards THOMAS to support him but it irritates him so he pushes them away. Probably he heard ... the daughters are a little embarrassed.)
But how caring you are!
(Daughters want help him.)
Thanks very much, I can do it alone.
(Sitting in the chair.)
I'm sorry to give you all this hassle right now that you are ready to go on vacation.
MICHELLE
What do you mean, you’re our father.
THOMAS
(With irony.)
Oh so are you still here?
I-3(4)-4
ROSE
Well you know, actually ... we have already booked...
MICHELLE
We have already put down a deposit.
ROSE
But do not worry, we've thought of everything. We’ll find a "someone" who will look after you day and night.
THOMAS
A what?
MICHELLE
A carer. A lady who’ll cook for you, clean the house; give you your injections. Someone who’ll keep an eye on you.
THOMAS
And who will keep an eye on the helper, making sure she doesn’t "swipe" the silver?
ROSE
We’ll get references from her before we take her on.
(Looking and talking to MICHELLE.)
In fact, I think it’s better if I go now to put an advertisement in the newspaper. I can do some shopping as well while I’m at it.
Scene 4
(enter JOHN with a cake in hand.)
(MICHELLE and ROSE while leaving, greet JOHN each other.)
ROSE
(Addressing her father.)
Here’s Mr. JOHN, the Caretaker, father.
JOHN
Good morning, Maestro, how are you?
THOMAS
Not bad. Slowly, very slowly I'm getting better. Of course I had a very bad experience. But now I’m on the mend.
JOHN
My wife sends you this cake, that she made just for you.
I-4-5
THOMAS
Ohh! ... How kind of her... but you know, I have a bit of diabetes...
JOHN
Oh! Don’t worry, a slice of cake every now and then won’t harm you. And to think that when I married her she didn’t even know how to boil an egg. But since I gave her "An ancient cookbook”
she is always glued to the kitchen stove experimenting.
THOMAS
When did you give to her?
JOHN
The other day, for her birthday.
THOMAS
Ah!
(He changes expression. now look at the cake with very suspicious and laying the plate on the table as it was poison.)
JOHN
Maestro... to be honest , what I really came to say was.. ... well ... I don’t know where to start...
THOMAS
What is it, has your wife already poisoned someone?
JOHN
No, no! God forbid!
THOMAS
What then?
JOHN
(Trying to summon up the courage.)
I wanted to tell you that I ... I ... I'm a poet! There I finally got it out.
THOMAS
So?' what's wrong with that? We all have a poetic vein that makes our hearts beat faster. It should never be suffocated. Indeed, we must leave it free to express itself as best it can.
JOHN
(JOHN watches THOMAS with intent.)
You are right, Maestro but to express oneself one needs at least another person that listens to you...
I-4-6
THOMAS
(Understanding what JOHN wants.)
And have you have tried with your wife?
JOHN
Well you know how it is , she’s just a caretaker’s wife... she wouldn’t understand me. Whereas you, Maestro are an artist, one of the best actors in our theater, a sensitive soul, a man who has travelled the world, a man who has lived, that……
THOMAS
(Interrupt him.)
Okay, okay. I understand … If I have to. And what’s the poem that you would like to read for me called?
JOHN
"For a moment"
(Poetry of love for a woman - intentionally rhymed. THOMAS will appear to be pleasantly surprised).
"For a moment"
BEAUTIFUL, BUSTY, ETHEREAL,
MADE OF RISING SUN
IRON ENCHANTRESS
DISTURBER OF MY PUN.
OH DELIRIOUS NIGHTS
DREAMING OF YOUR LIPS,
BUT IN THE EFFULGENCE OF THE EYES
I SAW CONTEMPT AND ZIPS.
GELID YOUR HEART IS
WRAPPED IN MYSTERY
REFUSES THE ARDOR
FOR A MAN WHO LOVES HISTORY
PROSTRATE BEFORE YOU
MY PRIDE HAS NOW WANED
I AM HERE, BEATING MY CHEST
FOR YOUR LOVE I AM PAINED!
THOMAS
Thank you, Mr. JOHN, that was really lovely. However, if you’ll allow me a small observation, it should have less emphasis, and more "feeling".
JOHN
What do you mean more "feeling"? ...
I-4(5)-7
JOHN (Cont.)
(Hesitant, but at the end.)
Would you mind reading it for me, Maestro, please?
THOMAS
Give it to me "For a moment"
(He reads magisterially.)
BEAUTIFUL, BUSTY, ETHEREAL,
MADE OF RISING SUN
IRON ENCHANTRESS
DISTURBER OF MY PUN.
OH DELIRIOUS NIGHTS
DREAMING OF YOUR LIPS,
BUT IN THE EFFULGENCE OF THE EYES
I SAW CONTEMPT AND ZIPS.
GELID YOUR HEART IS
WRAPPED IN MYSTERY
REFUSES THE ARDOR
FOR A MAN WHO LOVES HISTORY
PROSTRATE BEFORE YOU
MY PRIDE HAS NOW WANED
I AM HERE, BEATING MY CHEST
FOR YOUR LOVE I AM PAINED!
JOHN
(Appears dazed. it seemed like another poem.)
But it’s not possible. It's so, beautiful. But did I write this? Maestro, you have given me the greatest gift in the world. Now I understand: I am a true poet!
(Looking into his pockets.)
Can you read me another one?
THOMAS
Another time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am a little tired.
JOHN
Of course Of course. Sorry I disturbed you Maestro.
(THOMAS accompanies him to the door.)
And to think that my wife says I’m not even capable of sharpening a pencil.
(Exit JOHN.)
Scene 6
(THOMAS is left alone. he wanders around the room for a bit until he stops in front of a photo on the dresser – the photo of his dead wife. He picks up
I-5-8
the photo walking with it and, goes to sit at the table in the dining room. He looks at the photo tenderly and. a tear drops, he dries it with a handkerchief. He then puts the picture down on the table, pulls two letters out of his jacket pocket and silently reads them .. we then hear the voice of the wife echo through the room.)
THOMAS
(He reads)
My darling, I miss you! I miss your smile; your eyes filled with love, your gentle caresses...
Our girls are becoming women now under my very eyes and this worries me a little. Last night I surprised Michelle shaking her new beau’s hand with such great passion.
Please don’t buy any newspapers; Leave it to me to cut out the critics of all your successes. As soon as you come back we can stick them in your album together.
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment; I hope it’s nothing serious. It’s just a slight fever that I’ve had for days.
Now I must leave you, I feel a bit tired.
Not s a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
I miss you! I miss you! I miss you!
Yours forever, Mary
(THOMAS takes the second letter, it’s his reply, reading aloud.)
Sweet love of mine,
I miss you too, terribly. The only time, I confess, you're out of my mind is when I'm on stage. But as soon as the theater curtain is down, you return to my thoughts.
Soon I'll be home, just in time to celebrate our anniversary. I have an idea: to relive that night in Portofino exactly as it happened twenty years ago. Dinner in the same restaurant, to stroll hand in hand along the pier and ... Well, then you know how it ended...
Reading your last lines worried me a bit , but as you say, I'm sure it's just a little bout of flu.
I think of you, I love you and I want you like the first day...
I-5(6)-9
Yours forever,
Thomas
(At the end of reading THOMAS takes the photo holding it close to himself and sobs softly. the door bell ringing brings him back to reality. He goes to open the door.)
Scene 6
(JOHN and his wife LISETTE, enter.)
JOHN
Sorry to disturb you Maestro, but I need to talk to you about a very important matter.
THOMAS
Good morning Mrs. LISETTE.
LISETTE
Good morning, Maestro.
THOMAS
Thank you for your kind thought. (Cake.)
LISETTE
You're welcome, Maestro. Did you like it?
THOMAS
Actually, I haven’t tasted it yet. I‘m saving it for tea time, so I can enjoy it better... But, what was it you wanted to tell me Mr.JOHN?
JOHN
My wife doesn’t believe that I was complimented for my poetry.
THOMAS
Of course. I found it charming.
JOHN
(To LISETTE.)
Did you hear that? Charming!
LISETTE
Maestro, have you taken your temperature today?
THOMAS
Not yet.
I-6-10
LISETTE
Ah… Well I think you should take it, because although sometimes we think we feel fine, in reality…
Where do you keep the thermometer?
THOMAS
There, in that drawer.
LISETTE
Come and sit here and make yourself comfortable. Leave it to me to check your temperature.
(Addressed to the husband.)
So you're convinced that you are a poet... well... then I'll put you to the test, while we’re waiting for the thermometer.
JOHN
Test? How?
LISETTE
If you are a true poet you should be good at making rhymes. Isn’t that so Maestro?
THOMAS
(Playing the game.)
Of course!
LISETTE
So I’ll give you three words that you have to rhyme.
JOHN
Come on, I'm waiting.
LISETTE
So, let's see... "Flower, moon and Rebecca"
JOHN
Flower and moon, it should be, but what does Rebecca?
LISETTE
Rebecca! Rebecca!
JOHN
Okay. So, let...
OH INFINITE LOVE
YOU ARE MY MOON ,
SEIZING THIS FLOWER
I WILL MAKE MY FORTUNE.
HONEST, LOVE,
MY HEART DOES NOT SIN
I'M LIKE A DOVE
I-6-11
JOHN (Cont.)
OR SOMETHING AKIN.
LISETTE
FORGET THE MOON
BUTTON UP THE REBECCA
I’LL BE THERE SOON
WE CAN NOW GO THE MECCA.
JOHN
(Is taken by surprise.)
Once again.
LISETTE
"Perfume, flowers, fields”
THOMAS
FROM FLOWER TO FLOWER,
I FOLLOW YOUR PERFUME
IN THE NAME OF LOVE,
DON’T MAKE ME FACE DOOM.
LISETTE
I’M YOUR COVETED VICTIM
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD
CAREFUL OF A BOLD MOVE
OR YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
You see. I am more of a poet than you.
LISETTE
(To THOMAS.)
Ok should be there. Let me see the thermometer, Maestro.
THOMAS
(Hands it to her.)
LISETTE
(Expressing worry.)
Oh my god! What did I tell you? 39 point five. Delirium Fever.
(Says while winking at THOMAS, as he’s playing along.)
With this fever one doesn’t know what one’s saying. You have to go straight to bed, Maestro.
THOMAS
(He has an understanding with LISETTE.)
As a matter of fact I don’t feel great...
I-6(7)-12
JOHN
(Is confused, he does not know what to think.. his certainty of being a poet starts to vanish.)
LISETTE
(To JOHN)
Come on, "Virgilio" off you go to your colleague Dante, at the delicatessen shop, to buy a quarter of a pound of gorgonzola. March!
(To THOMAS)
I've destroyed him.
(Exit JOHN.)
Scene 7
LISETTE (Cont.)
Your daughter, ROSE, told me that you are looking for a carer that can also give injections. If it’s alright with you I’ll send you my niece. She is a registered nurse, currently unemployed. She’ll come to present herself later.
THOMAS
Well.
(He looks hard into LISETTE eyes.)
LISETTE, I want to do it again!
LISETTE
But, Maestro, you are convalescing, you are still weak, it could harm you.
THOMAS
I don’t care. Love is stronger than danger!
LISETTE
If your daughters found out. I don’t think that they would be very happy.
THOMAS
I’d do anything to relive those moments, I want to take the risk.
LISETTE
(Squeezes THOMAS’ hand, firmly, with complicity, looking him straight in the eye.)
All right.
(LISETTE grabs THOMAS and drags him into his bedroom. You hear excited voices from outside. You can misunderstand what is going on, maybe something sexual…
I-7-13
Both return.
LISETTE carrying a chandelier
with a white candle, which she puts on the table. THOMAS takes the photo of his late wife and places it on the table next to the candlestick. then they both sit down at the table.)
LISETTE
The candle must be red.
THOMAS
We’ve used all the red last time.
LISETTE
You can’t do with the white candle.
THOMAS
Please LISETTE, try just the same.
LISETTE
But I won’t guarantee anything.
THOMAS
Okay, let's start.
(LISETTE lights the candle. Simultaneously the light on stage lowers. She puts her hands on the table and they make the chain.)
LISETTE
Good Spirits who wander in the darkness, I turn to you. Please, please put THOMAS Parodi in contact with the holy soul of his beloved MARY. When you are ready give us a sign
(Absolute silence – looking towards THOMAS.)
I told you we have to use a red candle!
THOMAS
Try again, please. Try!
LISETTE
At least help me. Repeat after me. Good souls in Heaven...
THOMAS
Good souls in Heaven...
LISETTE
Please, put us in contact with MARY Parodi.
THOMAS
Please, put us in contact with my beloved MARY.
I-7-14
LISETTE
Give us a sign.
(Shortly after the table moves.)
THOMAS
It’s moving! It’s moving!
LISETTE
MARY Parodi, if it’s really you knock once.
(A strong bang is heard, so violent it makes them both jump.)
LISETTE
Ahhhhh! If you want to speak with your THOMAS, enter me.
(LISETTE begins muttering and panting violently.
Then suddenly becomes calm. The tone of her voice completely changes: it is the voice of MARY that comes from the afterlife... [behind the scenes].)
MARY\LISETTE
THOMAS ... THOMAS ... You were my first and only love ... You will always be in my heart for eternity...
THOMAS
MARY, my love I also think of you always. I want to be with you.
MARY\LISETTE
It's still too early for you. There is still so much love waiting for you there, on Earth.
THOMAS
That’s impossible! I only love you.
MARY\LISETTE
You need a new woman who will love you as you deserve.
Trust in me. trust...
LISETTE
(Shaking herself she gets up, and going back to speaking with her normal voice.)
What happened? I don’t remember anything. Why shot candle is lit? Was there a power cut?
THOMAS
(Gets up, grabs LISETTE‘s shoulders and shakes her violently while calling her.)
MARY! MARY!
I-7(8)-15
LISETTE
I'm LISETTE! I'm not your wife. I'm LISETTE, the caretaker’s wife...
(Speaking to the public.)
every time it’s the same old story. Every time she shakes me as if I’m an apple tree. He's losing his mind...
(LISETTE exits grumbling.)
Scene 8
THOMAS
(Dazed, falls down onto the couch, deep in thought. The sound of the door bell brings him back to reality. He goes to open the door. LOUISE, a neighbour enters, she is also a widow, and in love with THOMAS.)
Good morning Mrs. LOUISE, please sit down.
LOUISE
(Looking like a little squirrel in love, and she looks and dresses garish like a teenager, wearing a funny hat and glasses, half blind. She is holding a small parcel.)
Good morning, Mr. THOMAS, good morning.
THOMAS
Good morning, Mrs. LOUISE.
LOUISE
Oh! Come on now, I have told you so many times to call me Louisette...
THOMAS
(Between himself and the public.)
Louisette, as fast as a flash!
LOUISE
Sorry, what did you say?
THOMAS
(Ironic.)
I was saying that today is a perfect day. Ho! What a beautiful little dress you’re wearing today. It’s is so sober...
LOUISE
It is true. It reflects my mood today: I'm sad.
THOMAS
Thank God...
I-8-16
LOUISE
What did you say?
THOMAS
No… I mean, luckily you came to see me so I can help cheer you up. What is it that upset you?
LOUISE
(Deep breath.)
Don’t pretend you don’t know. You know that you’re the thorn in my heart.
THOMAS
Ah, well then you need to call the cardiologist.
LOUISE
(Fatal)
You are my medicine. It’s just you do not want to cure me, you naughty boy!
THOMAS
Mrs. Louisette, I haven’t used that medicine for a long time...
LOUISE
But isn’t it like riding a bike? Once you learn you never forget it for the rest of your life.
THOMAS
My bike has flat tires and I’ve been going on foot for a long time now.
LOUISE
I'm sure that I could do...
THOMAS
(Interrupts her and goes towards the table where LOUISE has left the package.)
I wonder what my dear neighbour has brought me?
LOUISE
Oh, nothing, just a small cake I made with my little hands, specially for you.
THOMAS
(Talking to himself.)
And that’s two, and I have diabetes!
(Towards her.)
Oh, how nice, how thoughtful of you.
I-8-17
LOUISE
(Embarrassed silence... doesn’t know what to say. Looks at him with intent.)
Look, it's already five o clock tea time...
THOMAS
(Forced to offer it.)
I was just about to make some. Would you like a cup?
LOUISE
If you insist. But I definitely cannot allow you to make it, you are tired.
(She takes THOMAS by the hand and makes him sit on the couch.)
You should rest. Let me do everything. I will make the tea.
(Extended her arms towards the sky and launches a deep breath.)
Ahh... I feel so at home here... it’s as if it was my own home!
(Goes towards the kitchen.)
THOMAS
(Her last phrase makes him jolt – speaking to her.)
There's a kettle on the stove, and the water should be hot.
LOUISE
(From outside.)
I’ve seen it. Oh! What a lovely porcelain tea set. Where did you buy it?
THOMAS - At Capodimonte, while on tour.
(Between himself.)
MARY really loved it.
LOUISE
Can I serve in here?
THOMAS
(gets up)
Actually...
(He doesn’t have time to finish the sentence when the sound of broken crockery comes from the kitchen. THOMAS is annihilated and let himself collapse onto the couch – there’s a lot of bustle and after some time Louisette appears with her crooked hat – very embarrassed but she feigns indifference - she has a tray with two plastic cups and 2 packets of sugar.)
I-8-18
LOUISE
(Flaunting the maximum indifference - lays the tray on the table and sits next to THOMAS – who is already sitting down – while she talk to herself.)
I really must get round to changing these glasses.
(To THOMAS.)
Sugar?
THOMAS
(Look at LOUISE, as if he wants to electrocute her with his eyes.)
No, thanks. I prefer it without.
LOUISE
(Ice age silence.They are drinking the tea.)
What happened to you today THOMAS? Did someone make you angry? You are so quiet...
THOMAS
I’ve suddenly got a headache. It ‘s probably my neck.
LOUISE
Oh, that’s not a problem. I've got the remedy.
(She rises, goes behind THOMAS, and start massaging the base of the neck. He is immediately reluctant but now and then he start to relax as the massage starts to take effect.)
THOMAS
(Irritated at the beginning.)
But what are you doing? What are you doing?
(Do moans of pleasure.)
Mmmm... ahhhh... What are you doing?
(THOMAS now is vulnerable and LOUISE can go to the attack).
LOUISE
THOMAS...
THOMAS
Yeeees?
LOUISE
You know, for some time now I’ve been feeling a bit strange I feel this stir, these butterflies all inside...
THOMAS
It must be something you ate last night...
I-8-19
LOUISE
Don’t you understand? It's spring! Nature awakes ... birds chirping ... the flowers bloom ... the sunlight warms up your heart ... and makes you want to sing, tos kip with...
(While speaking she grows fervent to this point that the gentile massage on the neck has become a violent shaking. THOMAS, manages to freeing himself, and get away from her.)
Don’t you want to skip as well?
THOMAS
I’ve lost the desire now, lost it...
(Turns the look to the sky.)
MARY, don’t worry, I'm fine by myself...
LOUISE
(Get near him.)
Well, then perhaps we could go for a nice walk in Nervi and breathe some fresh air, as that’s just what you need.
(She pinches THOMAS’ cheek, shaking it energetically.)
you have such a little face so gaunt and pale... Oh, I know what you need.
THOMAS
What?
LOUISE
A beautiful treatment, to regenerate you.
THOMAS
You’re too late. The DOCTOR’s already prescribed it for me: it's called Riposil.
LOUISE
I know one that is much more effective.
THOMAS
Oh yes? What is it called?
LOUISE
(Attacking.)
Louisette!
THOMAS
(To the public.)
She’s really like a flash!
LOUISE
And you don’t even need to have your ass punctured.
I-8(9)-20
THOMAS
Well, that wouldn’t be bad. But your cure has terrible side effects. The first and most serious of all: the loss of freedom.
LOUISE
But it would be for a good cause... love...
THOMAS
There’s something wrong here. Usually behind a good cause is the conquest of freedom. I've never heard of a people struggling to obtain life in prison. The only worthwhile reason is to love your other half more than your freedom and, you know, that feeling is not a commodity that you can buy at the supermarket. Either it’s there or it isn’t
LOUISE - And with me is it there?
THOMAS
Hemmm... That's... really...
(driiinnn!! the door bell avoids THOMAS’ embarrassment.)
Oh, the door...
(Goes to open - its JULIA the carer the niece of LISETTE the caretaker.)
Scene 9
JULIA
(Enter. Is a very provocative girl)
Hello, I am the carer, LISETTE’s niece. Is Mr. THOMAS at home?
THOMAS
(Shyly.) I am indeed.
LOUISE
(Launches a glare at the new arrival)
Well, I'd better go. You have to talk about work. Mr. THOMAS, I very much hope that, when you are better, you’ll accompany me to look for a supermarket, so we can to find together that so rare commodity.
THOMAS
Of course, Mrs. Lui ...
(He is near to say: LOUISE – but she launches a significant look and he correct himself immediately)
...sette.
(She has a smile of satisfaction and exits – while THOMAS look at the carer.)
Please have a seat.
I-9-21
JULIA
(Sits.)
THOMAS
(While she sits, he turns he glances towards the sky, and to MARY, with a hopeful smirk, pointing to the carer, saying.)
Is she the one?
JULIA
I know a supermarket where you can buy anything.
THOMAS
Even feelings?
JULIA
If they opened one that sold feelings, I think that would make billions.
(She acts the scene.)
<<Excuse me, I want a kilo of passion, a pound of romance, fine cut, I recommend a pound of sweetness and a hint of madness.>>
THOMAS
(Playing the game.)
<<I'm sorry, madam, but the romance has sold out. I can offer you, two ounces of good mood instead? It’s currently on special offer.>>
(They laugh with enjoyment.)
Ha, ha, ha!
THOMAS
How nice it would be to be able to buy happiness at the supermarket. The psychoanalysts ought to change jobs.
JULIA
Now I think about it, they already exist.
THOMAS
Where are they?
JULIA
Chemists of course, isn’t that so?
(She acts out the scene.)
“DOCTOR, I feel so sad; can you give me a pill to cheer me up.”
(She changes voice.)
"DOCTOR, I feel tense, can you give me a pill to relax a bit.”
(She changes voice.)
“DOCTOR, I can’t sleep, can you give me a pill to sleep.”
I-9-22
JULIA (Cont.)
(Changes voice.)
“DOCTOR, I keep falling asleep, can you give me a pill to keep me awake.”
THOMAS
(Laughing.)
Ha Ha Ha! Well, well, that’s not bad to start with. It made me laugh and it’s been a long time since I laughed so much. Much better than any tonic. But tell me about yourself.
JULIA
My name is JULIA, I'm a registered nurse and I’m unemployed at the moment.
THOMAS
(Laughing.)
And why is that? Is your client dead?
JULIA
Yes!
THOMAS
(Becomes serious.)
Ah! And how did it happen?
JULIA
Heart attack. One moment he was alive and a moment later he was gone. He was very nice person. So kind, caring, always very caring towards me. You could almost say he was the one who took care of me. And how much we used to laugh together! He always wanted to play. And to think that I was employed to look after him because he had fallen into a depression and had no desire to do anything. Ah, but I made him go I...
THOMAS
And how old he was?
JULIA
Seventy.
THOMAS
Ah... and you used to play together...
JULIA
Of course!
THOMAS
And what did you play? If you do not mind me asking...
I-9-23
JULIA
A lot of games. But he especially liked to play “Doctors and nurses” and “leapfrog“. But I think he probably preferred the first one. My previous client, however, used to like to play "Tarzan and Jane". I, of course, I was Jane and he used to chase me through the jungle... yes, well, all over the house... as long as or until I didn’t let him catch me... Once, however, I ran more than usual and...
THOMAS
(He makes the sign of the cross in the air.)
Him too...
JULIA
Yes him too, heart attack. But at least he died happy!
THOMAS
(To the public.)
Never two without a third...
JULIA
And what do you like playing?
THOMAS
Cards.
JULIA
(Disappointed.)
Oh...
(Suddenly interested.)
Poker?
THOMAS
Solitaire!
JULIA
Life is so short that we shouldn’t waste even a second of it. We should live it to the full until the last day that the Lord gives us and try to make those around us happy...
THOMAS
But it seems to me you rather exaggerated with those two gentlemen?
JULIA
But I did nothing more than apply the smile therapy, now so fashionable.
THOMAS
So we can say that they died laughing! Those games that you
where talking about before ... "Doctors and nurses” I can
I-9(10)-24
THOMAS (Cont.)
imagine, but that other one... "Leapfrog"...
JULIA
Oh yes, it so much fun! Come here, I'll show you how to do it.
(Takes the hand and leads him to the middle of the stage and makes him get down on his knees. she puts THOMAS’hat on that she finds somewhere, climbs onto his back following and starts singing a song – “Op! Op! Trotta Cavallino” is an old Italian song - which has already started in the background.)
HOP! HOP! TROT LITTLE HORSE. HOP! HOP! TROT MY LITTLE MORELLO, PERHAPS ON THE GATE OF A MAGNIFICENT GARDEN THERE IS LOVE. HOP! HOP! TROG LITTLE HORSE. HOP! HOP! TROT MY LITTLE MORELLO, BRINGS MY DESTINY TOWARDS A DREAM SO BEAUTIFUL TO MY HEART.
COME ON, COME ON, SING WITH ME!
THOMAS
(Sings)
HOP! HOP! TROT LITTLE HORSE. HOP! HOP! TROT MY LITTLE MORELLO, PERHAPS ON THE GATE OF A MAGNIFICENT GARDEN WHERE THERE IS LOVE. HOP! HOP! TROT LITTLE HORSE. HOP! HOP! TROT MY LITTLE MORELLO, BRINGS MY DESTINY TOWARDS A DREAM SO BEAUTIFUL TO MY HEART.
Scene 10
(At that moment time ROSE, MICHELLE, LISETTE and JOHN arrive – JOHN carrying a box - and LISETTE carrying some shopping bags. On seeing the scene all of them scream and drop everything onto the floor.)
MICHELLE/LISETTE/JOHN/JULIA
(They all cry out and make indignant, improvising cues.)
ROSE
But can we know what you're doing?
THOMAS
A new restorative care: the Smile Therapy!
HOP! HOP! TROT LITTLE HORSE. HOP! HOP! TROT MY LITTLE MORELLO, PERHAPS ON THE GATE OF A MAGNIFICENT GARDEN THERE IS LOVE. HOP! HOP! TROT HORSE. HOP! HOP! TROT MY LITTLE MORELLO, BRINGS MY DESTINY TOWARDS A DREAM SO BEAUTIFUL TO MY HEART .
CURTAIN
End of 1st Act
II-1-25
2nd Act
Scene 1
(The same scene of act 1)
ROSE/MICHELLE
ROSE
But can you believe it?! Trot little horse, trot my little morello! His hair’s completely grey, I don’t know about morello! And look at how he enjoyed being ridden by that... valkyria, to say the least... We need to keep him under control like a small child.
(To MICHELLE.)
And haven’t you got anything to say? Oh of course you’re his little favorite aren’t you?
MICHELLE
Even if I can understand him, I don’t approve. It certainly wasn’t a pretty sight.
ROSE
As soon they realize that he is alone and vulnerable, they literally put down and climb on top of him. And now who has the courage to let another woman into the house with him?
MICHELLE
Depends on who shows up. Of course, if they’re anything like LISETTE’s niece, it’s out of the question. Ideally, a woman of about fifty...
ROSE
(ROSE gestures using her hands up in the air as if to say more.)
MICHELLE
Sixty?
ROSE
(ROSE gestures using her hands up in the air as if to say more.)
MICHELLE
Seventy?
ROSE
(ROSE gestures using her hands up in the air as if to say more.)
MICHELLE
Then, we can go directly to the hospice to look for one.
There’ll be plenty of choice there. It would probably end up
II-1(2)-26
MICHELLE (Cont.)
with be our father giving the tonic injections to the carer!
ROSE
From what I've seen up till now, it’s good to trust, but not to trust is better! He’s at a dangerous age and at risk of falling into senile love. He might lose his head for the first easy girl that presents herself who’ll gobble up all his money.
ROSE
(The door bell sounds driiinnn. ROSE goes to open the door.)
Scene 2
THERESA
(She enters, she is about seventy, simply dressed but not messy, clean and tidy. she inspires confidence.)
Good morning, I'm here about the ad in the newspaper.
MICHELLE
Good morning.
ROSE
Please sit down.
(ROSE is happy.)
Well, well... then, do you have any experience of caring for the elderly?
THERESA
Young children and elderly. As they are more or less the same thing, don’t you think? You could say that I haven’t done anything else in the last forty years. Since my husband died. First in India, after that in Africa and always as a volunteer. It helped give a purpose in life since I’ve been on my own. I only came back to Genoa recently.
MICHELLE
Do you have any children?
THERESA
Unfortunately not. This has always been my cross. But I’ve always found so much comfort in other people’s children. And then, after all, aren’t we all God’s children? Helping others gives me great serenity.
ROSE- It's nice to be able to do in life what you like best.
II-2(3)-27
THERESA
Now this will make you laugh. To be honest, my dream has always been something completely different.
ROSE
Oh yes? And what did you really want to do?
THERESA
To be an actress… on the stage. I did a bit of acting when I was young, you know amateur dramatics, in school, but then, life’s events drew me away.
(These last words have a bitter tone.)
(MICHELLE and ROSE exchange a look of agreement.)
MICHELLE
So you’ll be pleased to know that our father was a famous actor. So you’ll have plenty to talk about during the day.
THERESA
Really? That’s great!
ROSE
His name’s THOMAS Parodi.
THERESA
You’ll have to excuse me but I’ve been away from Italy too long to know the names of famous people. But, if I understand you correctly, then I can consider myself accepted?
ROSE
Can you give injections?
THERESA
I‘ve given millions.
ROSE
A lot less well be fine for us… Well, perhaps we should call the person concerned.
(She goes to THOMAS’ room and knocks.)
Daddy, can you come?
Scene 3
THOMAS
(Opens the door. ROSE starts to make introductions.)
ROSE
Let me introduce the lady... Oh! How Silly of me, I didn’t even ask her name.
II-3(4)-28
THERESA
THERESA Traverso, pleased to meet you.
(THERESA shakes hands with THOMAS. they look at each other with a moment of hesitation but then return to normality)
ROSE
This lady will take care of you. She has a lot of experience and we are sure that we could not find a more qualified person. True, MICHELLE?
MICHELLE
Very true.
ROSE
Good.
(To THERESA.)
Ok, come with me and I’ll show you around the house and also we can talk about the necessary arrangements while we’re about it.
(ROSE and THERESA exit.)
Scene 4
MICHELLE
You as well though. Letting us find you in that situation.
THOMAS
You had no right to interfere "during the exercise of a therapeutic application carried out by a professional", just when I was beginning to feel better and without any injection on my ass!
MICHELLE
We are your daughters and we think we have every right and duty to think about your health.
THOMAS
Look health isn’t just physical, but there’s also spiritual health and, until proven otherwise, I'm still a man and I feel lonely!
MICHELLE
But if ROSE and I, are always here to take care that you do not miss anything. Every day we bring you nice warm soft bread, the newspaper, slices of veal and on Sundays a "cream cake"!
II-4-29
THOMAS
It’s Not enough, not enough! I need to feel alive! I need more
and I have the right! And more than you do!
(MICHELLE watches THOMAS stunned.)
I am sure, because I have a less time to be happy and I cannot afford to throw it away! You, on the other hand, still have the best years ahead of you.
MICHELLE
But we’re here and we love you. You have two grandchildren who adore you, you have money, what else do you need what’s missing?
THOMAS
I miss that feeling that melts your heart and that you do not feel when you think about the children or grandchildren and not even when you think about the "cream cake." That feeling that gives you the joy of waking up to a new day to live another day, and the happiness of going to bed with her every night….
MICHELE
But you're talking about love...
THOMAS
Hooray, you got it at last!
MICHELLE
But you're seventy and you still think about those things! You should be ashamed of yourself!
THOMAS
Don’t swear, you don’t know what you’re talking about! Tomorrow you may find yourself in the same situation as me. Time waits for no one always remember that. What you can’t understand today, tomorrow may be the most important thing in the world for you.
MICHELLE
Daddy, I know how you loved our dear mummy and I can assure you that if she had seen you the other day, she wouldn’t have been very happy.
THOMAS
But it was her who told me to……
MICHELLE
What are you talking about?
THOMAS
Nothing... nothing...
II-5(6)-30
Scene 5
THERESA/ROSE
(Return.)
ROSE
Well, well... Then we agree on everything. Now we have to go, Dad, but we're leaving you in good hands.
(ROSE and MICHELLE exit, greetings to subject. THOMAS and THERESA are now alone. There is a palpable embarrassment in the air.)
Scene 6
THERESA/THOMAS
(Talk together.)
So you’re convalescing... So you're the carer...
THOMAS
Oh, sorry please...
THERESA
I'm sorry, please you first...
THOMAS
No please, after you...
THERESA
No, no! You first...
THERESA/THOMAS
(Talk together.)
So you’re convalescing... So you're the carer...
(They both burst out laughing. the initial embarrassment has vanished.)
THOMAS
OH! Yes, I’m recovering from a nasty pneumonia that left me exhausted and now, slowly, slowly, I’m trying to pick myself up. The Doctor gave me this new American cure, it seems, portentous. The only drawback is that I have to have an injection every six hours, day and night.
THERESA
We’ll put the alarm clock on...
THOMAS
I hope you have a light touch. I wouldn’t like to find my ass reduced to a sieve.
II-6-31
THERESA
(Smiles.)
Don’t worry, I'm used to the pink bottoms of little children and those I think are a bit more delicate than yours.
THOMAS
Now, I don’t want to give you the impression of wanting to write a treaty on my "backside", but I can assure you that I have very delicate skin.
THERESA
That means I’ll have to use my velvet gloves.
(Checking the clock.)
Oh! I think it's time.
THOMAS
(He is also watching the clock.)
Seems early to eat.
THERESA
Time for the injection. I'll go and get the stuff.
(Exit.)
THOMAS
(He is visibly nervous. He paces up and down the scene the room.)
THERESA
(Enters with the first aid box, that she puts on the table and starts preparing the injection. THOMAS feigns indifference, but in reality doesn’t miss a move or gesture that THERESA makes. She notices him and try to cover up her smile.)
THERESA
(Goes to the center of stage and squirts some of liquid into the air from the syringe and then... adjudged.)
I'm ready, how would you like to do it, lying on the bed or standing or some other position?
THOMAS
On the bed for a simple injection? I prefer standing!
THERESA
How brave, congratulations. Well, come here then.
(THERESA is sitting on a chair in front of the public. THOMAS is standing in front of THERESA arching his back.)
Can you unbutton your trousers please THOMAS?
II-6-32
(THOMAS obeys. THERESA start to move the small part of clothes that interfere with the skin at the top of his right buttock "touches" with her finger.)
But don’t hold your leg so rigid, relax!
(She cleans the part with the cotton wool and makes the gesture of sticking the needle in but THOMAS staggers.)
What’s happening?
THOMAS
A dizzy moment, but it will go in a moment.
THERESA
You can’t do it standing up, you risk falling on the floor. At least lean on the table.
THOMAS
How?
THERESA
Come here.
(She moves THOMAS to behind the table, where she spreads his arms and trunk arms out wide on the table with his face to the public and his backside naked. THERESA resumes to rub him with the cotton wool but when she starts to make contact with THOMAS thigh and stick the needle in, he lets out a grunt…)
THOMAS
AAAAHHHHH!!!
THERESA
What’s wrong?
THOMAS
I’m suffocating... I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe in this position.
THERESA
(Helps him up.)
THOMAS
I have to compliment you, you have a very light hand, I didn’t feel a thing!
THERESA
I believe you, I haven’t done it yet.
THOMAS
Huh? What’s that? You mean it’s not all over?
II-6(7)-33
THERESA
It will all be over when I can stick this needle into the soft flesh of your holy ass. Come on, come with me.
(She takes him by hand and makes him lie on the sofa on his stomach. Pulls down his trousers and begins again to rub the area with the cotton wool.)
Is it better like this?
THOMAS
(Is not responding.)
THERESA
(Slaps THOMAS gently on the face.)
Mr. THOMAS, Mr. THOMAS... Oh, good heavens, don’t tell me he has died before the treatment!
(THERESA goes to the table where she has left the first aid box and takes the bottle of salts that she makes him sniff. THOMAS jumps to his feet immediately like a spring, walks around the stage a bit like a zombie as if he’s in a coma with his trousers downs, his underwear designed with colored flowers in view and finally faints collapsing onto the table, with his bottom in the air towards the public and on all fours limb, meanwhile THERESA takes advantage of the moment she poises the needle and…)
Hit!
(The door bell rings: Driiinnn! THERESA tries to move THOMAS into a better position as best she can but doesn’t succeed. She goes to open the door.)
Scene 7
LOUISE
(Enters - the neighbour from the flat above - with a package in her hand.)
(She has curlers in her hair covered with a headscarf wearing her usual thick lensed glasses.)
Mr. THOMAS, I brought the ”Tiramisù“ I made myself this morning.
(This sentence in italian, comes out in rhymes and sounds the same for those who follow – she notices THOMAS in that strange position.)
Ohhh! Mr. THOMAS, what are you doing on the table?
THERESA
Look, he can’t hear anything. He fainted.
LOUISE
In that position?
II-7-34
THERESA
I suppose Mr. THOMAS felt that was the most comfortable position at the time... I was just about to give him his injection when...
(She mimes THOMAS’ fainting.)
Help me lift him up.
(Sit THOMAS on the kitchen chair.)
THOMAS
(Recovers.)
Where am I?
(He looks around and finds himself face to face with LOUISE. He launches another scream and passes out again.)
Aaahhh!
LOUISE
(With a deep sigh of satisfaction.)
He’s so glad to see me that he can’t contain his joy!
THERESA
(Launches an unconvinced look at her.)
I hope you don’t want to make him faint with joy every time he recovers. Do me a favor, sit down on the couch and let him see you a bit at a time...
(LOUISE doesn’t understand that THERESA is taking the micky out of her.)
THERESA
(Slapping THOMAS gently on the face.)
Mr. THOMAS, Mr. THOMAS...
THOMAS
(Wakes up and is about to turn round towards LOUISE.)
THERESA
Don’t turn round, look at me.
THOMAS
Where am I?
THERESA
Don’t worry, you’re safe at home.
THOMAS
And what’s that monster doing in my home?
II-7-35
THERESA
But that’s not a monster. It's the lady from upstairs who brought you some “Tiramisù” that she made this morning.
THOMAS
(Almost crying.)
But I have diabetes!
(He turns to look LOUISE and sends her a forced smile and she responds with a shy smile.)
(To THERESA.)
When are we going to do this injection then!
THERESA
Already done!
THOMAS
Already done?! But I didn’t feel anything! Don’t forget to make sure the others are as painless as this one!
THERESA
If you faint every time, no problem.
LOUISE
What? You made my Thomas faint from the pain?! Miss. ROSE told me that you’re been to Africa. Maybe you gave the elephants injections? But didn’t you know that my THOMAS’ bottom is like a baby’s bottom?
THERESA
How do you know? Have you touched it?
LOUISE
Of course not! How dare you! I just thought that, well knowing what a delicate soul he is, even his bottom must be... Yeah, well... I just wanted to say that...
(Awkwardly, yes, well, she doesn’t know what more to say).
THOMAS
When you have finished discussing my backside, could I have a glass of water, please?
LOUISE
I'll get it.
THOMAS
(Remembering of the previous chaos she has already caused in the kitchen, start to yell.)
No! No! Why you don’t you stay here and keep me company?
II-7-36
LOUISE
(All proud to be chosen.)
Oh! My dear! You prefer me to stay here, close to you?
THOMAS
I prefer to keep an eye on you...
(To THERESA.)
Do you mind?
(THERESA goes into the kitchen to get the water.)
LOUISE
You could have told me that you needed an injection, before allowing a stranger into the house. After all that I did for your late wife, I’ve had so much experience that I could give an injection with my eyes closed. And also, who knows where she comes from. How can you be sure that she has travelled the world, to do good deeds or, really had to flee for life for a crime she committed when she was young? I think she’s hiding something. She can’t be as perfect a woman as she says!
THOMAS
Why not?
LOUISE
Why... why... why not! Sssccc, here she comes...
(She takes the glass from THERESA’S hand.)
Give it to me.
(And passes it to THOMAS.)
I hope at least she washed the glass first!
THERESA
Of course.
LOUISE
Well, dear Tommasino, drink up this lovely glass of fresh waterino.
THOMAS
(Drinking - aimed at LOUISE.)
I noticed that sometimes you are talk in rhymes.
LOUISE
I don’t doing on purpose. They come to me spontaneously... since they discovered that I have a poetic soul... Well, now I want to go and prepare you a cake, a recipe that I found in an old German cookbook: Tyrolean struddel with candied fruit, chocolate and cream.
THOMAS
Look, mrs… Lui… setta, I really ...
II-7(8)-37
LOUISE
No, no, don’t stand on ceremony. I know that you really like cakes. You little piggy!
(To THERESA.)
As for you, make sure you look after my Tommy, the man of my destiny! I told you, they just come to me! Good day, good day
(Exit.)
Scene 8
(THOMAS is bewildered.)
THERESA
You are very lucky to have such a caring lady who thinks about you... My dear THOMAS here... my dear... THOMAS over there, the homemade “Tiramisù” wrapped in paper from the “Panarello shop” (One of the most well known genoese pastry shops.) The Tyrolean strudel, very light dessert, actually beautiful and very light... candied fruit, chocolate, cream and also eggs that are inside. What do you think, I think maybe it would be better if today when I go out, I buy two bottles of “Amaro Giuliani” (Stomach syrup.) that medicine will look after your intestine?
THOMAS
Don’t worry about that. I don’t eat cakes anyway.
THERESA
I don’t like them much either but it's a shame to waste such delicious things.
THOMAS
Don’t worry nothing will go to waste.
(He takes the package which LOUISE brought, unwraps it, opens the window and calls...)
Alifax! Alifax!
ALIFAX
(The bark of a big dog from the yard.)
Woof Woof!!
THOMAS
(Throws the package directly to the dog...)
Tomorrow is Tyrolean strudel chocolate and cream.
ALIFAX
Woof Woof!
THOMAS
He said that he likes...
II-8-38
THERESA
(Laughs.)
If Mrs. Louisette ever found out...
THOMAS
Call her LOUISE, no need for formalities. All that simpering, all that attention, “I made them with my own little hands." Ugly old liar! It’s really true that it is better not to trust women.
THERESA
Not all of them…....
THOMAS
Excluding those present, of course ...
(Suspicious.)
And so you have traveled the world to help others ... India ... Africa ... And why’s that, with all the poor people who need help here, why did you have to go so far? What were you running away from?
THERESA
(Bitter and saddened.)
You are an intelligent man. You understood everything about me in a glance. that I am hiding something... that all my life I’ve been running away... and if I run then who knows, what serious sins I have committed. And furthermore you concluded by saying that you can’t trust a woman with similar crimes on her conscience in your home.
THOMAS
Then you admit you have had problems!
THERESA
Yes, I admit it. On the other hand, everyone at some point in life has problems.
THOMAS
No my, dear lady, not at all . Not me
THERESA
Well then you’ve been very lucky. Does that mean that you do not know the suffering or the feeling, when your only true love closes his eyes for the last time and he digs his nails into your flesh, like an ice pick into ice, to avoid slipping into the abyss.
THOMAS
(THOMAS is annihilated by those words, it revived in him the painful times immediately after the loss of his wife.)
II-8-39
THERESA
We were in India when he began to feel ill. He was fascinated by that country, for those poor kids, all skin and bones, with those big black eyes that seem even bigger inside those skinny little faces... But with a great will they had to laugh and play as if they knew they had to... they had to do it soon because who knows if tomorrow they would have the strength to stand up... a human being cannot remain indifferent to so much suffering and so we built a school, a small hospital...and the first customer was just my husband... not even the time to realize what was happening, and he was gone. There, that was the only real big problem I've had in my life.
THOMAS
(Now he’s really interested.)
And after what did you do?
THERESA
The night he died I realized what I would do for the rest of my days... help those poor people as much as I could. I only came back just to see my sister before she went away... now I'm really alone in the world...
THOMAS
(Offering her a small glass of Marsala [sweet liqueur].)
I'm sorry if I doubted you. I was referring to another kind of problem... more silly. Don’t think, I don’t know what it means to be torn suddenly from the most intense joy, to be hurled into the most atrocious suffering.
THERESA
But you’re not alone.
THOMAS
I have two daughters, but now they are grown up. They have their own families, and their plans for the future... and I'm not included in those projects. It is strange how, sons are always the most important part in the projects of the parents, but the sons’ projects never involve the parents. Perhaps because at our age we no longer have the right to think about future happiness. As if there was a guarantee that expired like a guarantee on a washing machine, and ours, by now, expired a long time ago.
THERESA
My life no! it will expire with me when I close my eyes for the last time, not before! Excuse me, if I’m being foward but since we're talking like two old friends, to talk like this is like living as if you’re dead already! And I want to arrive at death, alive in body and spirit!
II-8(9)-40
THOMAS
And is feeling alive for you, just going around the houses jabbing backsides?
(Bursts out laughing downplaying the situation.)
It's not that I gave up on life, but it's so hard to meet a person who is really in tune with you, heart and soul.
(They looks each other and note a new light in their eyes. the door bell ringing interrupts that warm moment, driiinnn! driiinnn twice!)
THERESA
(Goes to open door.)
Scene 9
LISETTE
(Enters with a small package.)
Hello madam, Good day Maestro. I brought you a chocolate cake, to repay...
THOMAS
To repay me? And for what?
LISETTE
For what I’m going to ask you.
THERESA
(Realizes, they want to be left alone.)
I'm just going to the kitchen to prepare something to eat.
THOMAS
While you’re there, please, prepare the chocolate cake, that Miss. LISETTE kindly brought, for that visitor that you know as well.
(He indicates the window with his head so THERESA understand he means the dog.
THERESA
(Goes to the kitchen with the cake.)
THOMAS
So, Mrs. LISETTE, what can I do for you?
LISETTE
Well, Maestro, I do not know if I...
THOMAS
Go on, go on, don’t worry...
II-9-41
LISETTE
I wanted to ask you for advice, because I think you’re best person since we’re talking about poetry...
THOMAS
Ahh! Again!
LISETTE
(Taking a parcel of sheets out of her pocket.)
You see? They are all my husband’s poems!
THOMAS
And what's wrong with that? You know very well that he is a poet.
LISETTE
But love poetry!
THOMAS
Even better.
LISETTE
Yes but they are all dedicated to a woman!
THOMAS
Ah! What‘s her name?
LISETTE
My husband may be a blockhead, but not to the point of writing the full name. He just uses the letter L.
THOMAS
L as in LISETTE...
LISETTE
Don’t make me laugh, please. He never even wrote me a postcard when he was young, and now he’s old he’s writing me love poems! And then there's another thing ...more serious… he looks for me!!!!
THOMAS
Are you playing hide and seek?
LISETTE
Don’t pretend you don’t understand!
THOMAS
And you complain, I'm sorry. I wonder how many women would like to have your problem...
II-9-42
LISETTE
But it is not normal, you know? After twenty years that we are like brother and sister now, all of a sudden, he is in love with me again? He scares me!
THOMAS
Rekindling the flame.
LISETTE
What? If he's not careful he’ll burn himself ... mmmm better shut up.
THOMAS
But I, how can I help you?
LISETTE
Make him talk, Maestro. Between men, perhaps, he will be more open.
THOMAS
But Mrs. LISETTE, do you want me to spy on your husband?
LISETTE
Oh, no! Not that never! Let's just say that I expect you to be an intermediary (go between) as I am with your late wife.
THOMAS
But this is called...
LISETTE
(She stops him.)
Reciprocating a favour.
THOMAS
I'm sorry if I'm intruding into your affairs, but since you were the one to bring it up, assuming but not (but not granted ), that your husband likes someone else, well what's wrong with that since it's all over between you two.
LISETTE
But he’s my husband! And after so many years I think I have rights!
THOMAS
On paper... but between the sheets? I think you said that...
LISETTE
Marriage isn’t just that. Is it possible that you men don’t think of anything else?
II-9(10)-43
THOMAS
Why, you women, on the other hand, do you just do it to do us a favour?
LISETTE
Well, I‘m not saying that, but...
THOMAS
But it is unseemly, and important that it’s not common knowledge that you’re happy as well...
LISETTE
Are you giving me a sermon now?
THOMAS
I’m just saying that yours rather than love, seems to me “A property right.” “This is my husband and you can’t touch”. I ‘ve got the documents to prove it as well. But do you really believe that a signature is enough to secure your partner’s love forever?
LISETTE
What’s wrong with you today,have you been bitten by a tarantula? I’ve never seen you so irritable.
THOMAS
It’s just that I’m tired of compromise. I want to call a spade a spade
LISETTE
Then perhaps you’d better start playing cards. Goodbye Mr. Thomas. Goodbye... (Exit.)
Scene 10
THOMAS
(To himself.)
Now I understand, my dear Mrs. LISETTE, ready to blackmail in the name of love... or as you call it...
THERESA
(Enters.)
Are you speaking to yourself?
THOMAS
(Doesn’t answer, he’s nervous.)
THERESA
I saw that there was some pesto sauce in the fridge so I put on some spaghetti.
(THERESA doesn’t get any answer.)
II-10-44
I breaded two cutlets...
THOMAS
(Silent.)
THERESA
And then I made a nice apricot tart.
(They are looking at each other, and break out laughing.)
THOMAS
You have the power to make me laugh when I need it most and that’s not to be underestimated.
THERESA
When I'm nervous, to calm myself, I read old scripts of when I was acting… many years ago.
THOMAS
But what, you acted? Were you an actress?
THERESA
Oh, actress! That’s an exaggeration.. I enjoyed doing theater in an amateur dramatics school company... I was sixteen.
THOMAS
I too started like that. Like everyone else, for that matter, in those days.
THERESA
Only you became famous... I, on the other hand...
THOMAS
If you liked it so much, why didn’t you continue?
THERESA
My boyfriend used to act with me. He was so passionate but unfortunately he didn’t make it, poor man. The director, one day, decided to stage Romeo and Juliet. We were a new group of young people but we liked acting and doing great classics. I played the part of Juliet. Not to brag but I was quite pretty, at that age, and my boyfriend was Romeo... well... he wanted to do it, because he didn’t make it unfortunately. The director, after some interviews, took his part away and gave it to a teenager who had just arrived, and seemed to be born for the part. My boyfriend was so jealous that at the end of the performance, he took me away from the drama society and didn’t want me to act again. Things were different then….
THOMAS
And was he right to be jealous?
II-10-45
THERESA
Well he wasn’t completely wrong...
THOMAS
Romeo and Juliet... I did it in amateur dramatics as well. I still have that old script here, somewhere.
(Rummages in a drawer and it takes out an old script - browses through some pages.)
Do you remember the balcony scene?
THERESA
My favorite...
THOMAS
ROMEO - OH, RISE BRIGHT SUN, AND KILL THE ENVIOUS MOON WHO IS ALREADY SICK AND PALE WITH RAGE, BECAUSE THOU, HER MAID, HER MOST 'RE SO BEAUTIFUL .
SEE HOW SHE LEANS HER CHEEK ON HIS HAND, I COULD BE THE GLOVE ON THAT HAND, AND BE ABLE TO TOUCH THAT CHEEK!
THERESA
JULIET - OH ROMEO, ROMEO, WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO? DENY THY FATHER AND REFUSE THY NAME, OR IF THOU WILT NOT, SWEAR THAT YOU'RE MINE AND I’LL SNO LONGER BE A CAPULET.
WHAT'S IN A NAME? THAT WHICH WE CALL A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL AS SWEET. ROMEO THROW AWAY YOUR NAME, AND IN ITS PLACE, TAKE MINE.
THOMAS
ROMEO - I TAKE YOUR WORD. CALL ME BUT LOVE AND IT WILL BE MY NEW BAPTISM HERE, MY NAME WILL NO LONGER BE ROMEO.
(From the script a withered flower falls from the yellowed pages that show, Thomas’ many years of collecting. Attached was a note.)
THOMAS
(Sniffs.)
It had lost the scent and color, but not the good memories that came from the past...
(He reads the small piece.)
“You are my Romeo in the play and in my life “ Signed...
THERESA
Your baby little Terry...
THOMAS
So it was you!
II-10-46
THERESA
You got it, finally...
End of the 2nd Act
III-1-47
3rd Act
Scene 1
(Same scene as previous acts - after a couple of months - the curtain opens while the song "Trot little pony" is played.)
THERESA
(Enters dressed, more cheekily but always with good taste. She sings in time to the music – she spreads a table cloth on the table and goes into the kitchen.)
THOMAS
(After a while enters the main door with a bunch of flowers, dressed in a beautiful if rather flamboyant blazer and bow tie, singing the song to the music in the background – he puts the flowers in a vase, glances around his house and goes into his bedroom.)
THERESA
(Enters again always singing, carrying two dishes, cutlery and glasses - she glances at the bunch of flowers, stops singing, gets nearer to the flowers and smells the perfume, she then launches an inquisitive look towards THOMAS’ bedroom.
The background music fades.)
THOMAS
(Enters, THERESA feigns indifference and continues to lay the table.)
THERESA
Good morning.
THOMAS
(With enthusiasm.)
Good morning, good morning!
THERESA
Why are you so cheerful? good news?
THOMAS
Why, haven’t you noticed?
THERESA
What?
THOMAS
(He takes THERESA by the hand and leads her to the window. Opening it inviting her to look out...)
III-1-48
Here is the news!
THERESA
(She looks out of the window.)
I can’t see anything special.
THOMAS
Nothing?! But at least you can hear what I can hear?
THERESA
(Tries leaning forward with her ears.)
Traffic, honks, sirens, nothing new, in fact...
THOMAS
But can’t you hear the sun screaming at everyone to get out of the house to enjoy these warm rays that dry out the moisture in your heart left by the long, sad, cold winter... Can’t you hear the excited cries of the boys playing football mingled with the cries of swallows that are setting off for their first flight... Can’t you smell the scent of spring roses in the air telling us that the summer is arrived...
THERESA
(She leans out the window, breathes in deeply, then pulls herself back, now coughing.)
I can only smell smog!
THOMAS
But you don’t just "feel" with your nose, and not even with your ears but with your heart...
THERESA
It seems to me that the tonic did you good….
THOMAS
That looked after my body but you on the other hand…….
THERESA
(A strong attraction has been building up between the two but she prefers to ignore it.)
Today I made some gnocchi which will go with the pesto sauce, you like so much and as main course, there’s a nice grilled sea bream, the one that your daughter brought yesterday.
THOMAS
And what about the apricot jam tart? Did you make that for me as well?
THERESA
(She bursts out laughing.)
III-1-49
THERESA (Cont.)
Don’t worry, for dessert I think your girlfriend will have already made you something.
(She points to the flowers.)
What beautiful flowers, are they for a special occasion?
THOMAS
Nothing special, today is a beautiful day and I wanted to bring a little bit of it, home with me.
THERESA
I'm glad to see that you have recovered completely... now we are at the end of your treatment and it is a relief for me to leave you in such perfect health.
THOMAS
It's a relief to leave me? I didn’t think that you were unhappy here with me. I thought quite the opposite...
THERESA
I'm not just happy here... I'm more than happy. Unfortunately my job now, is over and in a few days I'll have to put my old rags together and look for another backside to jab.
THOMAS
But where you will go when you leave here? You are alone in the world.
THERESA
I’ll manage somehow
THOMAS
(Changes mood.)
THERESA
Well! Now why are you looking so sad? You were so happy, a moment ago, that you even succeeded in putting me in a good mood as well.
THOMAS
It’s because I've got used to you. Your laughter fills this house which is so big and empty. Everything will go back to how it was before... Everyday just the same with no strength or will to get out of bed in the morning and face the day.
THERESA
Don’t you think that’s just the same for me? My laughter that you like so much I only found again, after many years, here with you.
III-1(2)-50
THERESA (Cont.)
And the pleasure of feeling the warmth of a home and discovering that I still have feelings that I believed were dead.
THOMAS
I wasn’t wrong... you too feel the same!
THERESA
(Shouting.)
Yes! Yes! But we’re not sixteen anymore! We are seventy! I feel confused; ridiculous... It doesn’t seem right to have these feelings at our age!
THOMAS
It's not right to lose the last opportunity that life offers us. That yes… would be sin, indeed, a extremely serious offence to love and we do not want to offend love... right..?
THERESA
No...
THOMAS
(Tightening his arms around THERESA, their faces are getting closer their lips almost touch. The main door bell rings. Driiinn!
They both distance themselves from each other.)
THERESA
(Goes to open the door.)
THOMAS
(Goes into his bedroom, as soon as recognizes his daughters voices greeting THERESA.)
Scene 2
(ROSE and MICHELLE entering the house, followed by THERESA.)
ROSE
Were you eating?
THERESA
I was just laying the table. Why you don’t you stay to dinner with us? Your father will love that.
ROSE
No, thanks you. We only passed to settle up with you. The treatment is over...
III-2-51
THERESA
Yes, the care is over...
ROSE
And how is our patient?
THERESA
Good.
THOMAS
(Enters, his confident appearance disappears, he looks ill, emaciated and shabbily dressed.)
THERESA
(She smiles to herself.)
But perhaps it would be best to do another course of injections.
MICHELLE
Daddy, are you, okay?
THOMAS
(He staggers – MICHELLE goes towards him to give support him.)
Yes not too bad not too bad.
(She helps him sit on the chair.)
ROSE
I do not understand, last week he seemed to be so full of life and now he’s more dead than alive!
MICHELLE
(Launches a very bad look, to ROSE.)
ROSE, what do you say. Could it be the sudden change in temperature.. the first warm days of spring!
ROSE
But shouldn’t have that the opposite effect?
THERESA
To be honest, his blood pressure was a bit low this morning.
ROSE
(To her sister.)
And we're in a bad situation if after two months of injections he’s reduced to this state... And add the cost of the carer...
THOMAS
What are you complaining about! And even if I need another course of injections? The bum and ass and money are mine, aren’t they!?
III-2-52
MICHELLE
You didn’t get what she meant Dad! ROSE didn’t express herself properly, she’s worried about you...
THOMAS
(Rubbing thumb and index finger meaning money.)
Myself and my ass, we understand, and we thank you very much.
ROSE
I'm sorry, Dad, if I gave you that impression, but it is a bad time for me at the moment I’m in a bit of a mess.
THOMAS
Something wrong?
MICHELLE
Wrong? Yes! Everything’s going to hell!
THOMAS
Explain yourself better.
THERESA
(Understanding she’s one too many in this situation.)
Maestro, I'm going to the kitchen to finish preparing the lunch.
(Goes towards the kitchen.)
THOMAS
So?
ROSE
The situation is bit complicated... I do not know where to start...
THOMAS
Try from the beginning.
ROSE
(Determined.)
Well... you know... sometimes things do not go as one would like them to go... and then you find yourself...
MICHELLE
(Pushing on.)
In the shit!
(Looking at ROSE.)
What happened to all your courage, your swagger, eh? Babbling like a little girl! Tell him! Tell him that we are ruined and that it was you that dragged me into this situation!
(Sobs.)
III-2-53
ROSE
It seemed like a bargain, so safe...
THOMAS
Are you going to tell me what happened?
MICHELLE
Work in the shop has been slowing down for some time. The suppliers would not give us anymore credit. We were getting fewer and fewer customers every day.
ROSE
In our industry, the competition is very strong and, to survive, we have to invest, innovate continuously but there wasn’t much money left. So one day I met an old school friend on the street. He was getting out of a Mercedes that costs at least 80 thousand (Currency you want.) He told me that he had made his money on the stock market and had secure information about certain securities, which were a bargain without risks. Etc... Etc... In short, I also involved MICHELLE and we both gave him all our savings to try to save our shop.
THOMAS
There is no need to continue. I'm sure your dear friend has disappeared with the money.
MICHELLE
See? Even he has got it!
THOMAS
Look, MICHELLE, the fact that I am seventy, does not mean that I am a "dick head”! [SENILE]
MICHELLE
But of course not! Don’t be silly... What did you understand...
THOMAS
Okay, okay. Give it a rest! So, now, you're in "deep shit."
Then again it is not the first time that I’ve bailed you out.
ROSE
Last time it was a MICHELLE’s fault!
THOMAS
And you, for not wanting to be outdone...
ROSE
Look, we're not here to ask you for anything. It was you who asked.
III-2(3)-54
THOMAS
And you didn’t wait for me to beg you too much before you came out with it all as quick as you could.
ROSE
MICHELLE, I think we need to call the Doctor. I think he needs a good visit. Bye-Bye!
MICHELLE
Bye-Bye!
(ROSE and MICHELLE exit.)
Scene 3
THERESA
(Re-enters from the kitchen, bringing a container with the gnocchi with pesto inside.)
Have they gone? Come on, sit down and eat. The gnocchi are lovely and hot.
THOMAS
I’ve lost my appetite, I'll eat later. And I do not want you to call me "Maestro” or Mr. Thomas either in front of others, not even in front of my daughters! I'm sick of this comedy. I want everyone to know that I love you!
THERESA
You say you love me and you can’t remember what day it is today.
(THOMAS gets a card out of his pocket and hands to THERESA which she reads.)
THERESA
" My sweet love, these flowers are to wish you today like times before, happy birthday, and now as then I would love to savor the sweetness of our first kiss again."
THOMAS
I was going to wait to give it to you after having a few glasses of wine, I thought I might have found the courage...
(They look at each other sweetly, softly and embracing strongly.)
THERESA
(First accepted but then retracts.)
But what are we doing. You’re making me lose my mind.
THOMAS
The worst thing that can happen to us is not losing the mind, but finding it...
III-3-55
THERESA
Enough, enough! But what are you doing to me ?
THOMAS
Why, don’t you want to feel the blood flowing through your veins again? Don’t you like feeling your heart race and the thrill that runs down your back, like just now?
THERESA
Stop it! You are kidding me and I do not want to suffer! At my age, a disappointment in love, could be fatal for me!
THOMAS
THERESA, life is like a doughnut, two bites and it's already over... This last bite, is still hot; do you want to bite with me?
THERESA
Yeah Oh! THOMAS I love you so much.
(Embracing together.)
But are you sure we're doing the right thing? People will laugh behind our backs? And your daughters, how will they take the news?
THOMAS
Don’t you think that we are old enough and ugly enough, to be able to do what we like?
THERESA
That’s precisely the problem, we are too old!
THOMAS
This is absurd. The older you get , the more you have to fight to make a good impression on your family and in exchange you have less rights for yourself. Is it possible that everything we do is for others? That we can’t think about ourselves a bit, about our own happiness?
THERESA
But you, what exactly do you want from me?
THOMAS
Haven’t you understood yet? I want to marry you.
THERESA
Marry? Can’t we just live together without complicating our lives?
THOMAS
THERESA, I'm an old-fashioned man. I don’t like cohabitation without the Lord’s blessing . And also let's be honest. if I
III-3(4)-56
THOMAS (Cont.)
had to leave this world first, before I do, don’t think my daughters would worry too much about you, and this would not make me feel comfortable. Marriage would give you a secure a roof over your head and not only that...
THERESA
(She is very hesitant.)
Okay, I'll marry you, but only on one condition: your daughters must agree. I don’t want to join your family by force.
THOMAS
As you wish, I’ll talk to them. Now let’s eat; I’ve suddenly got an appetite... Come on, let's sit down.
(THERESA uncovers the container – the bell door start ringing driiinnn!)
And who will this breaking the...
THERESA
I'll get it.
(Goes to open.)
Scene 4
(LISETTE and LOUISE enter, each with a cake.)
LOUISE
Oh, Tommy dear, please excuse us for the inconvenient hour, but we need to resolve an important issue with Mrs. LISETTE as soon as possible and the only one who can give us a honest and impartial judgment is you.
LISETTE
That’s right Mr. THOMAS, you’re a great admirer of our cakes and there is no more experienced person to make a judgment.
(Presenting and holding in front of THOMAS their two cakes.)
Please eat a slice of each and tell us which one is the best and tastiest cake.
LOUISE
Just imagine... Ms. LISETTE dares to say that I bought my cakes in a shop, so just to show her that I don’t need to go to the bakery we each made a cake in my house. It‘s obvious that mine is the best but Ms. LISETTE doesn’t want to admit it.
III-4-57
LISETTE
I won’t admit it because it is not true! Your cake, dear Mrs. LOUISE, has a taste that not even Alifax, my dog who died of indigestion poor thing, would have eaten; he loved cakes...
(Talking to herself.)
And if I find out who gave them to him...
(THOMAS knows he’s guilty.)
LOUISE
And yours dear Mrs. LISETTE, is so soft that it seems as if it has been mixed in a cement mixer!
(Towards THOMAS, handing the cake to him.)
Taste it Mr. THOMAS, just a little bit...
LISETTE
(Handing the cake to THOMAS.)
And this mine, which is made by LISETTE, go on eat, even a big slice if you like...
THOMAS
(Has found himself sitting on the couch, hunted by the impetuosity of the two women and governing a cake in each hand – he doesn’t know what to do...)
THERESA
Mr. Thomas will be happy to accommodate you but only after the gnocchi with pesto. Isn’t that right Mr. Thomas?
THOMAS
Yes that’s right
LOUISE
Oh! But haven’t you had your lunch yet...?
LISETTE
Oh! How rude we are.
LOUISE
Sorry we hadn’t noticed.
THOMAS
(Gestures to give back the cakes.)
LISETTE
No, no. Keep them. We’ll come back later.
(This almost sounds like a threat.)
LOUISE
So taste them calmly. And remember, Mr. Thomas, mine is this one with the curl. (Goes out greeting.)
III-4-58
LISETTE
And mine needs to be enjoyed slowly because remember that it is the LISETTE...
(Goes out greeting.)
THERESA
The gnocchi are getting cold, I'm going to warm them up.
(Takes the container to the kitchen.)
THOMAS
(Looks dejectedly at the two cakes and review.)
Who’s going to help me now poor Alifax isn’t here anymore? They are right when they say that a dog is a man's best friend! Poor thing, he sacrificed himself for me. That must be what they mean when they talk about “sweet death”.
THERESA
(Enters.)
You see I was right? The dessert arrived, and this time twice. However, “Alifax” poor beast, he became so fat that he couldn’t get into the kennel.
THOMAS
Why do you think Mrs. LOUISE is so determined to bring to me cakes continuously?
THERESA
Come on, you know very well, you just like to hear it said... She’s in love with you.
THOMAS
Mmmm... I think she just wants to ensnare a man, the first one she can find. It's horrible to be alone.
THERESA
Better alone than in bad company.
(Goes to the kitchen.)
THOMAS
That's for sure.
(Takes his place at the table.)
THERESA
(Enters with the gnocchi – starts to serve. meanwhile at the main door the bell rings. drrriiinnn!)
Oh no! They’re doing it on purpose!
(Goes to open.)
III-5-59
Scene 5
DOCTOR
(Enters with THERESA)
DOCTOR
Can I come in?
THOMAS
(With gritted teeth.)
Of course DOCTOR, please come in and sit down.
DOCTOR
Sorry about the inconvenient time but I had a hellish morning. I came right away as soon as I read the note that your daughters left me on the door... Oh, but you're eating?
THERESA
(Bringing the gnocchi back to the kitchen.)
Do not worry, DOCTOR, we're just rehearsing...
DOCTOR
(Not understanding.)
So, Mr. THOMAS, what's wrong? Your daughters are very concerned.
THOMAS
(Alluding to their financial problems.)
Oh, I do not doubt that. Well, I do not know. I am feeling a bit rough, I cannot sleep...
DOCTOR
(This scene that will be pleasurably enhanced by lots of gags.)
Let’s have a look at your blood pressure.
(He takes out, the apparatus from his case and measures bp.)
The blood pressure is fine.
(Listens to his the back.)
Say 99.
THOMAS
99 99 99 99 99
DOCTOR
Poke your tongue out and say aaaaaaaaaa...
THOMAS
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
III-5-60
DOCTOR
I think that's all right...
(Rummages in his bag.)
I’ll leave you these sleeping pills. I recommend these, you must take just one, one is more than enough. As far as the rest, is concerned you still have another course of injections just to be on the safe side, even though it seems to me that you don’t really need them.
(Writes the prescription.)
THOMAS
DOCTOR, since you’re here I would like to take this opportunity to ask you a favour for a close friend of mine.
DOCTOR
Of course... if I can help.
THOMAS
It’s a rather delicate question actually... You know... A male thing...
DOCTOR
Speak up speak up, I'm a doctor and I hear all sorts of things ... Nothing surprises me.
THOMAS
This friend of mine is quite old but in his mind he’s still a young boy and like all young men... with the first hot sunny day he falls in love.
DOCTOR
Lucky him, that hasn’t happened to me since high school. And how old is your friend?
THOMAS
He has passed his “Eventies” some time ago.
DOCTOR
And why doesn’t he speak directly to his doctor himself?
THOMAS
He’s embarrassed. As I was saying to you, he’s at a certain age and he doesn’t find it easy to talk about these things.
DOCTOR
Ah... Maybe, I am beginning to understand now... Does your friend need those little “Blue pills” with miraculous properties?
THOMAS
But how did you understand so quickly, doctor?
III-5(6)-61
DOCTOR
I told you that I'm used to hearing of all colors of problems and lately blue, has become very fashionable.
(He has understood everything – checks his bag and pulling out a red bra, he gives Thomas a wink... sign of complicity.)
Mrs. Anne...
(He puts the bra in his pocket – and finally takes a bottle of tablets out of his bag.)
your friend is very lucky. I just happen to have a bottle with me.... you never know... anyway take it...
THOMAS
(Interrupts the doctor.)
It’s not for me, doctor!
DOCTOR
Of course, of course. Tell your dear friend to take only half a tablet, the first time, and see the effect it has and then let me know how your dear friend finds them... Well, I'm glad to hear that, your dear friend hasn’t got any serious problems after all...
(Goes to the table where he left the prescription.)
In retrospect, it’s probably better if you take two lots of the tonic injections. Two boxes...
(He wink as sign of complicity – goes to the door.)
Goodbye, Mr. THOMAS and tell your dear friend go easy on those tablets... Ah, l'amour, l'amour, ç'est toujours l'amour!
(Exit.)
THOMAS
(At the main door.)
Thank you, doctor. I'll tell him. I’ll tell my friend, I will tell him... I'm afraid he guessed that the “Blue pills” are for me...
(Goes to the table and pours a glass of water, takes the two bottles in his hands, but in his confusion, instead of opening the Viagra bottle he opens the one with the sleeping tablets. Swallows a tablet and then to be more confident of effect, takes a second one – hears THERESA coming from the kitchen puts the two bottles of tablets on the cabinet.)
Scene 6
THERESA
(Comes back with the gnocchi.)
Has that pain in the arse gone?
III-6-62
THOMAS
Why do you say that, He is a very conscientious doctor who understands patients problems immediately, and has a clinical eye....
THERESA
Come on, sit down and let’s hope we’ll be lucky this time.
THOMAS
Forget the gnocchi, the moment’s passed now for lunch.
(Takes her hand.)
Come on, let’s sit near each other here
(On the settee.)
and let's talk about our future. Now that you're here I'd love to make some changes in the house, you know... put up new curtains, buy some new furniture just to renovate the place a bit. Well now, what do you think about buying a new bedroom suite?
THERESA
Your words have a certain effect on me.
THOMAS
Me as well but it will soon be a reality.
THERESA
Don’t run so fast.. I've told you before that you have to discuss this with your daughters.
THOMAS
Okay, okay... but what's the problem? They will certainly agree. So tell me which side do you sleep on? On the left or the right...?
THERESA
I can’t even remember anymore... I’m so used to sleeping alone. It’s such a long time since I slept with a man...
THOMAS
Of course we will buy all new bed linen. I thought those modern sheets with beautiful colorful flowers with matching pillowcases...
(He runs his fingers through his hair - She acts coy.)
And in the drawers of the dresser we can put some lavender bags that delicate fragrance, which I love so much... it's so nice to slip between the sheets that smell good... intimate... and, sorry if I'm a little curious, on the other hand, we must begin to know each other better... you... how do you sleep?
(He cuddles her.)
III-6-63
THERESA
(Teasing him.)
With my eyes closed...
THOMAS
Come on. You know exactly what I mean. I mean do you sleep with flannel pyjamas... or just nothing at all?
(He hugs her.)
THERESA
(Becomes defensive.)
How cheeky and nosey you are. I guess you’ll just have to wait for the first night, to enjoy the show...
THOMAS
(His advances becoming more bold.)
And couldn’t you just allow a little private preview for a special viewer like me?
(Yawns!)
THERESA
(Pretending to be shocked but in reality is happy about his advances.)
Do you really think this is a proposal to make to a lady?
THOMAS
TERRY, I'm impatient like a little kid in front of a gift box wrapped with a beautiful red bow... I can’t wait to see what's inside.
(Yawns noisily.)
Sorry...
THERESA
“Impatient kids, very often lose their sweets.”
THOMAS
So. I can’t eat sweets.
(He starts kissing THERESA on the neck and laying his head on her shoulder.)
THERESA
(Lets out a little scream.)
Ahhh! Getting hot already! You haven’t changed a bit. You’re just the same as you always were... Perhaps a little cheeky, but an adorable rogue. You know, unlike you, I recognized you right away when I saw you, I felt my heart leaping into my throat. I could not even speak, with emotion. What a moment that was! It was if our story which never really ended replayed before my eyes.
And now, fifty years later, I'm back in your arms that are even stronger and make my heart beat fast just like before.
III-6-64
THERESA (Cont.)
Nothing has changed. You're right, it is foolish to wait... Thomas, did you hear what I said? I'm ready...
THOMAS
(Since he’s stopped moving and is making strange noises, first she calls him softly and then shakes him violently without response.)
THERESA
Thomas... Thomas!
THOMAS
(THOMAS’ sleeping blissfully - THERESA gets up, without Theresa’s support his limp body ends up lying on the sofa with his backside in the air.)
THERESA
(She is very angry.)
But then you never used to sleep, eh?
(She starts to go into the kitchen and sees on the window cabinet, the two bottles, she picks them up and looks at them - launches a look to Thomas and smiles.)
And poor Thomas, you got the wrong bottle, right?
(Goes into the kitchen.)
THOMAS
(THOMAS mutters nonsensical phrases rambling and squirming frantically in the most strange positions ending up with his backside in the air towards the public.)
THERESA
(Joins Thomas with a cup of espresso coffee.)
Come on “sleeping beauty”, have a sip of coffee, it will wake you up.
THOMAS
(Half asleep, starts to drink the coffee and slowly wakes up.)
What happened?
THERESA
(Adjusts her hair and says dreamily...)
What happened? Now don’t be modest, you know what happened... My handsome Romeo...
THOMAS
Ah! Then everything went well...
III-6(7)-65
THERESA
You brought me to the land of dreams and how well you slept...
(Carry on joking.)
I mean, you couldn’t have behaved any better than that.
THOMAS
(Proudly.)
Ah! And to think that the first time there is always a bit of embarrassment... yes, well, I mean there’s room for improvement.
THERESA
I sincerely hope so!
(Notes the surprise on Thomas’s face and promptly adds with touch of shyness.)
that is... I hope we can try again soon.
THOMAS
And then I must have fallen asleep...
THERESA
That’s only natural after that explosion of passion...
THOMAS
(To himself.)
The miracles of modern science! But these pills have a drawback though... they make one lose one’s memory!
Scene 7
(The door bell ringing, driiinnn - THERESA goes to open the door and comes in with LISETTE.)
LISETTE
Maestro, I'm sorry I’m here again but I couldn’t resist it... I’d like to know what you have decided.
THERESA
(Brings the dirty dishes and silverware into the kitchen.)
THOMAS
To be honest, Mrs. LISETTE, I have been busy with more important matters.
LISETTE
Forget the cake, I have one more important thing... Do you remember when a long time ago, I asked you to talk to my husband to find out who his poems were dedicated to?
III-7-66
THOMAS
Mrs. LISETTE, I did try but I couldn’t find anything. These are delicate things you know, it takes a little tact and patience. I have to wait for the right moment to make him talk without making him suspicious.
LISETTE
I'm here to tell you to forget about it, it’s not important anymore. Now I know who they were dedicated to! I just found this poem in the pocket of his work trousers.
(Takes a paper from her apron pocket.)
THOMAS
You “went through his pockets?!”
LISETTE
Well, I have to check he hasn’t forgotten anything before I stuff his clothes in the washing machine!
THOMAS
(To himself.)
Good excuse.
(To her.)
And excuse my curiosity, can I know who the poem is dedicated to?
LISETTE
(Becomes shy.)
To me...
THOMAS
Huh? To you?!
LISETTE
That’s right, just me! It is entitled:
“DEDICATED TO LOUISETTE"
AS MY LIFE GOES BY
AS THE DAYS START TO CLOSE
I WILL LOVE YOU’ TILL I DIE
AS LONG AS MY BLOOD IN MY VEIN FLOWS
I'm just ungrateful. He writes love poems and does not have the courage to give them to me because I’m always teasing him.
I tell him that he is an useless poet and instead listen to what feeling there is in these words:
III-7(8)-67
AS MY LIFE GOES BY
AS THE DAYS START TO CLOSE
I WILL LOVE YOU’ TILL I DIE
AS LONG AS MY BLOOD IN MY VEIN FLOWS
Can you ever forgive me? (Sobs.)
THOMAS
(Has listened carefully but isn’t convinced.)
Can I see it?
LISETTE
(Gives the poem to him.)
LISETTE
So when he was looking for me, he was sincere, he loves me so much! And I've always rejected him! How he must have suffered, poor man.
(She blows her nose violently.)
And what should I do now? I can’t just tell him that I found his poetry while I was "emptying" his trouser pocket! What do you suggest, Mr. Maestro?
THOMAS
Don’t tell him anything. It would only make him feel embarrassed. Just change your behavior towards him. Now that you know he’s still deeply in love with you. Show him with facts and above all, make him understand that for you as well your love for him is not finished.
LISETTE
Yeah, Yeah. You’re right. I’ll do that .Thank you, Mr. Maestro, thank you, and sorry again for bothering you.
THOMAS
What about the cake then, aren’t you interested in my opinion anymore?
LISETTE
Tell Mrs. Louise that her cake, is the best. Poor woman, she is entitled to some satisfaction. I ... I already have love!
(As she try to get out and as open the door...)
Scene 8
JOHN
(Enters.)
Oh, here you are? I was looking for you. Good morning, Maestro.
III-8-68
LISETTE
Were you looking for me Batty?
JOHN
It’s Mrs. Louise who was looking for you.
(Thinking.)
What did you say?
LISETTE
I asked if you were looking for me.
JOHN
No, later...
LISETTE
Batty...
JOHN
You haven’t called me that since the time we went cherry picking in the country with the Vespa...
LISETTE
Now that the weather is nice we could do it again, a trip like old times...
JOHN
You and I in the country with the Vespa...? LISETTE, come on, off you go now Mrs. LISETTE is outside waiting for you. I need to speak with Mr. Maestro a moment.
LISETTE
I‘ll run now, but first tell me what delicious meal you want me to prepare for you tonight. Two cod fritters, I know that you love them? And then for sweet do you fancy fried sweet milk?
JOHN
But you've never been able to stand the smell of cod... and you’ve always prepared dinner without ever asking me anything!
LISETTE
From today I will be another woman. From now on, in the evening I will write a list of what you want for the next day... And this is just the beginning. Hurry, Batty, I have a surprise for you my handsome Batty...
(Exit.)
JOHN
(Is appalled.)
What has she been drinking?
III-8-69
THOMAS
She hasn’t drunk anything at all. She’s just happy because she found your poem “Dedicated to Louisette"...
(JOHN rummages in all his pockets.)
(Take a dictionary.)
Too late, it's already past the infallible Inspector LISETTE. What exactly is your wife called, Mr. JOHN?
JOHN - Elisabeth.
THOMAS - Elisabeth, what a beautiful name. Let's see what are the diminutives for Elisabeth: Lisette, Lizbeth, Liza, Lizzy, Elisa etc... Strange, it’s not Louisette at all.
Let's look under Louisette. Here is Luisa. Hey, how strange. That’s just like the name of the upstairs neighbor, the widow that gives me so many cakes... I always say that we need to know own roots to know who we are... your wife, fortunately for you, is a bit confused. She is convinced that LISETTE and LOUISETTE are the same thing and, instead, as we have just discovered that’s not so at all... Isn’t that so Mr. JOHN?
(JOHN it is very ashamed.)
But you must explain this curiosity to me. Since your interest is in the upstairs widow, as evidenced by the dictionary, why are you looking for your wife?
JOHN
Maestro, you are a man of the world, you know how these things go...
THOMAS
Perhaps... but you can explain it better to me.
JOHN
It was a woman who wrote: "Marriage is the tomb of love." She probably meant that the monotony of living together kills off desire and sometimes all that’s needed is something new to turn it on, even at home...
THOMAS
I was lucky then. Since I was always travelling around, I did not have time to get bored of my wife.
JOHN
Maestro, are you going to tell her?
THOMAS
Your wife? No! And miss seeing those bambi eyes of full love!? Oh no! Never!
III-8(9)-70
JOHN
Thank you, Maestro.
(The main door bell rings - Driiinnn!)
THOMAS
(Goes to open.)
Scene 9
LOUISE
(Enter.)
(Between her and JOHN is showed a strong embarrassment.)
JOHN
Well, now I have to go.
(Greetings to each other - JOHN goes out.)
LOUISE
I'm here to thank you so much, Mr. THOMAS. Ms. LISETTE told me that you chose my cake and this fills me with joy! How can I show you my gratitude?
(Moving forward provocatively.)
THOMAS
Actually I am the one that has to give you a prize...
LOUISE
A prize? Oh, how nice! And what is it?
THOMAS
Since I know that you have a poetic soul, I wrote a poem just for you... Please, have a seat
(Pointing to the sofa.)
THOMAS
(Takes LISETTE’s poem and begins to read the JOHN’s poem)
"DEDICATED TO LOUISETTE"
As my life goes by
As the days start to close
I will love you’ till I die
As long as my blood in my vein flows
LOUISE
(Is visible embarrassed, puzzled and then suddenly, starts yelling.)
It’s burning It’s burning! I forgot the cake in the oven! It’s burning.
III-9(10)-71
THOMAS
But, Mrs. LOUISETTE. Don’t you want to hear the end?
LOUISE
I have to go! It’s burning It’s burning!
(Goes toward the exit.)
THOMAS
LOUISETTE, go go, you're faster than a lightning bolt.
Scene 10
ROSE/MICHELLE
(Enter.)
(LOUISE going out bums into ROSE and MICHELLE carrying a cream cake.)
ROSE
Hey, what’s happening! Is the house on fire?
THOMAS
No, her conscience.
MICHELLE
It’s Sunday and we‘ve brought your usual cream cake.
THOMAS
(Holds the package in hand with a lot of doubts.)
Dear daughters, now is the time to make an important confession, sit down: I hate cream cakes! Just as I hate all sweets
ROSE
Oh, Lord, what a fright you gave me! I was very worried about it. Well, I have to confess one thing: it was pretty boring taking you a cream cake every Sunday.
THOMAS
See? Sometimes we are slaves of conventions isn’t it better to speak clearly and try to understand each other instead of playing a role?
MICHELLE
How right are you, Daddy! And, since we're on the subject of confessions, we also have something really important to tell you.
THOMAS
Me too, me too.
III-10-72
ROSE
So you first.
THOMAS
No, no. After you...
MICHELLE
God forbid, you are our father!
THOMAS
Women and children first!
ROSE/MICHELLE)
(Embarrassed.)
ROSE
Yeah, well... We wanted to tell you that... That...
MICHELLE
We’re bankrupt we are ruined!
(Cries.)
THOMAS
As bad as that?
ROSE
They have already taken away all the furniture and soon they’ll repossess our home
(Cries.)
MICHELLE
We'll have to go and live in a rented council flat, if they will give us one... What are we going to tell our children? What a disgrace! What a disgrace!
THOMAS
How much is the debt?
ROSE
About a million...
THOMAS
Have you tried asking the banks for help.
MICHELLE
The banks, it’s the banks that made us bankrupt!
THOMAS
Of course, they are the real culprit. I'm sure you've already figured a way out to get out of this situation...
III-10-73
ROSE
Well, we thought that, since you’re getting on a bit, and the more time passes the more you’ll need someone to look after you, the more you’ll need someone to take care of you.
MICHELLE
And I we would be happier if we could keep an eye on you, so we thought that you could come and stay with us, a bit with one and a bit with the other...
THOMAS
(Shakes his head from side to side.)
Like a tennis ball... But if you are going to stay in those small council apartments, there won’t be any room for me.
MICHELLE
Well that wouldn’t be necessary if we could keep our homes...
THOMAS
And the creditors, how are you going to pay them?
ROSE
But try and be rational! What’s the point in your living on your own in an apartment as big as this? With the money you spend you can...
THOMAS
Come back to earth!... Apart from the fact that all the most cherished memories are with your mother are here, I have to tell you something really important... I want to get married again!
ROSE/MICHELLE
Ehhh?? What did you say??
THOMAS
And I have no intention of moving out of my house!
ROSE
So that's why you bought the computer, surf the internet and poke your nose, or rather your eyes, in those sites for dirty old men! And did where meet her, in some lonely hearts chat?
THOMAS
No, I met her here in my house.
MICHELLE
Of course, JULIA, the caretakers’ niece! That “loose one” came back here in secret, and cheated you with her arguments
(Shaking her breasts.)
But she's too young for you!
III-10(11)-74
THOMAS
It’s not her…..
ROSE
But here at home the only one around is..
MICHELLE/ROSE
THERESA?!?!?!
THOMAS
Now you cannot tell me, that she is too young!
ROSE
But THERESA is... is...
MICHELLE
You are right ROSE. THERESA is... is...
THOMAS
A good woman and I love her. I had two months to get to know her, indeed, it would be more correct to say fifty years and two months and I do not want to wait any longer!
ROSE
(Very angry.)
Hooo! You are a real egoist! You only think of yourself. You don’t care if your daughters are close to gassing themselves! You’ve always put your own interests before everyone else. You were always running around the world, partying with your starlets, while our mother was upset and angry, like a white widow. How many times we used to heard her crying in her bedroom!
THOMAS
I won’t allow you to judge my feelings that bound me to your mother. You cannot even imagine the love that we shared. And now, excuse me, I feel a little tired, I need to rest.
MICHELLE/ROSE
(Leave with a cold greeting.)
Scene 11
THERESA
(Enters. She is dressed ready to go out. A dark coat covers her dress with the spring colors. Has a black bag in arm. She is very serious.)
I am going out, but I’ll come back as soon as possible.
THOMAS
Where are you going? If you not mind me asking...
III-11(12)-75
THERESA
Searching for a home.
THOMAS
You heard our discussion didn’t you?
THERESA
Without wanting to, all screaming like lunatics...
THOMAS
Then you've also heard what I said! Why do you want to go?
THERESA
You forget what I told you. I do not want to become part of your family by force.
THOMAS
You are now my family!
THERESA
And to know that this is the cause of a breakup with your daughters? I would not be happy with that. And now they really need your help and this apartment, for them, it means salvation.
THOMAS
Why, isn’t it for us?
THERESA
They have their whole life ahead, we at this point... I thought I’d go and see if there was a place in that old people’s home in Europe Avenue. LISETTE the cartekar, told me that she put her parents there. She told me as well that they are very, very happy there... They even have a beautiful double room all to themselves. Well, now I'm going. Bye.
(THERESA exit.)
Scene 12
THOMAS
(His morale is very low. He wanders around the room and after take the portrait of MARY and place on the table. Sits and talks to the photo.)
So you locked yourself in your room crying. You never told me that. And you suffered because of me. You thought that in the midst of all those starlets, like Rose, told me I was not faithful...
MARY
(Arrives not view by THOMAS stay near his shoulders and make the gesture of stroking her head.)
III-12-76
MARY (Cont.)
No, I never thought of that.
THOMAS
(Has a jump but not surprising that much.)
Now there is no need even for the red candle to hear you.
MARY
It is not thanks to the candles that the two of us can speak, but thanks only to the feeling that unites us. Not even death managed to snatch that fine but very strong bond. And since this is the last time that we will hear each other, now you can see me as well.
THOMAS
(This time jumps up looking scared and looking around.)
MARY, oh, MARY... how beautiful you are... just like those days... But how this time... I was going to say in flesh and blood, I'm sorry, it’s the emotion.
MARY
The timing is important. I'm here to help you make the right choice. I love you too much and I want your happiness.
THOMAS
But can’t you see how hard is it, to be happy! When you think to have secured her safely inside the bag, happiness runs away like water from all sides and disappears into the ground.
MARY
Instead of putting it inside the bag, try to put it into your heart. You can be sure that there is no more appropriate place to preserve our most loved and cherished feelings.
THOMAS
I don’t understand...
MARY
I mean, you can’t pretend to trap or harness happiness and tame it. It is she who chooses her home. She just needs to find a large and generous heart.
THOMAS
A large and generous heart... perhaps I am beginning to understand now... So, if you weren’t crying because you were jealous, what was the reason?
III-12(13)-77
MARY
Because I felt too much. I was missing you too and I was suffering and desperate, up to the point of being sick...
THOMAS
Oh, MARY, why did you never say? Why did you never tell me that you suffered so?
MARY - I saw you too happy with your successes and that made me proud of you.
THOMAS
Before you said that is the last time that we can talk, why?
MARY
Because soon you will no longer need me, I'm sure. There will be another person who will take my place in your generous big heart.
THOMAS
Yes, it is true, there is one person, but...
MARY
I'm sure you know to make the right choice.
THOMAS
If we can no longer speak at least can I embrace you for the last time?
MARY
Yes...
(Slowly they unite in a long, soft embrace.)
Now I have to go. Now I really have to go. And remember, up there we are all cheering for you, even the Boss...
(Backs up to disappear.)
Scene 13
THOMAS
(wanders around in the room and then goes to his room.)
THERESA
(Enters, looking around, she see the flowers that THOMAS had brought. She takes one and she hides when...)
THOMAS
(Enters.)
Here already? That was quick.
III-13-78
THERESA
I met Mrs. LISETTE, the caretaker’s wife, she did everything by phone. They are waiting for me tonight.
THOMAS
So you've decided...
THERESA
Yes, I think it's the right thing to do. Well, I'll go and get my suitcase.
(She goes to her bedroom.)
THOMAS
(Also goes to his room.)
THERESA
(After a while returns with a suitcase that’s lying in the middle of the scene and waiting for THOMAS to greet him.)
THOMAS
(Immediately enters into the scene with a suitcase in hand.)
THERESA
And, where are you going with that suitcase?
THOMAS
Didn’t you say that in that place they have beautiful double rooms? Do you think they’ll have one for us?
THERESA
Oh, THOMAS, I love you so much!
THOMAS
Me, too, my little Terry, me too...
(Hand in hand each with their suitcases and slowly towards the exit door as a gentle music is heard and gently the curtain closes...)
End of comedy